In Time

[nilielh]

Title : In Time – Interlude
Rating : R
Pairing : Ohno/Nino
Genre : Angst. Romance
Disclaimer : fiction, yo!
Summary : Where I came from, Leader’s gone. He’s dead. Buried six feet under the ground where I can no longer reach him. Where you can no longer reach him. You want to know why I’m here? Well then, there’s your answer.
Note : based on a very old Meme Prompt - Future!Nino is from 2 years in the future. Lots of Future!Nino pissing present day Nino off. I’m not even sure if I did this right but I guess it's alright as long as there’d be lots of pissing, though with lots of angst, too. So sorry for that.



It’s honestly a little difficult to sit still, to not reach out and touch Nino, to make sure he is exactly who he claimed he is but he holds himself back firmly. The distance between them is nothing, like he only needs to stretch his arm to be able to press his hand against Nino’s forearm but he can’t do that, not now, at least.

He swallows past the lump in his throat and wonders how long he’s going to be able to bear this silence before he snaps but he guesses he has to have enough patience just to understand everything that has been going on around him lately.

“Do I have to ask again or –“

“I know it'll be so hard to believe it but,” Nino cuts in, without bothering raising his head enough to look him in the eyes while talking. It’s frustrating but he lets Nino do what he wants for now.  “as I've said before, that N-Nino and I – well, you can say that w-were the same person,” Nino breathes, and he gasps, can’t not, because even despite the fact that he has an inkling that is the case, it is still entirely surprising to hear Nino admitting it. “but at the same time, well, different,”

“I don’t –“ he husks out but pauses immediately because he realized he doesn’t know what to say. He knows what he wants to tell Nino but it’s so difficult to put his thoughts into words (he never claimed to be good at that), especially when he’s not even sure where to begin.

Although come to think of it, he should know… he does know; the only problem is, he’s not sure whether his heart and his brain are strong enough to handle all these shit without either one shutting down before he even realize what is happening but.

But he knows he has to be. It's that or ask Nino to leave, which he can't. He can't.

He looks up when at least he’s got his thoughts sorted out and finds that Nino’s gaze is on him, too. Then, just before he has managed to open his mouth to talk, he spies Nino’s fingers move to tug the collars of his shirt, baring the soft, pale skin of his collarbones that are matted with reddish, almost purplish marks.

His eyes go comically wide the minute his gaze found what he didn't find earlier, when he did the same to that other Nino he confronted back in the Jimusho.

"It is you," He breathes, and he knows he sounded more than a little mystified, if not overly confused. He’s honestly unsure what to think of now aside from his brain coming up with nothing beyond a litany of ‘what the fucks’ as he stares at Nino’s neck. "But -"

"I'm not really sure how to explain it without sounding like a complete lunatic so why don't we just skip that part," Nino says, then pauses, looking sorely agitated. "and I just ask you to trust me when I tell you that you don't have to treat him differently? We're one person, afterall, and yes, I know it all sounds like pure crap since I have this marks on me –“ Nino says, pointing at himself, “and he doesn't, even though we look the same but it's because you - you didn't do it with him," Nino pauses again, cheeks burning and well, he can’t really blame him, can he? "because it wasn't him you were with that night," Nino follows, swallowing hard.  "It was me,"

Fucking shit, there it is. The admission he knows he’s waiting for, his heart skipping all over the place as he stares, jaw gaping open at Nino.

"It was my fault, I admit," Nino continues, lowering his eyes to the ground as if he can no longer bear the sight of him, of the shocked expression he’s fairly sure just showed up on his face. "because I promised him I will not do anything to interfere, to do more than I was allowed to. He gave me the chance to borrow his life for one night, afterall, because I begged him for it, because I was sure, even without him saying it that he understood. I promised I will behave, but you only had to ask me once and every promise I have made had thrown itself out of your apartment's window the moment you asked me to stay. I had lied to him through my teeth about what happened to us that night because I knew he'd get mad, and I would too, if the situation was reversed and it was him standing where I am right now.”

“But... but y-you were there and I just. I couldn't just let the moment slip through my fingers, couldn't just allow myself to go back without knowing that I had my chance and I didn't take it, because I was afraid he won't ever find the courage to do it himself despite everything.  I can't. Not when I.... I spent years regretting the same thing, but seeing you again had changed a lot of things. I just... I realized how wrong I was for not telling you sooner," Nino says, then, glancing up to find him still staring at Nino, still looking at Nino, not knowing exactly what to think or say when everything Nino just said has started overlapping in his head, confusing him even more, Nino whispers, "I should have, I know that now. Because it turned out you feel the same way about me, too,"

"Nino,” he breathes, heart pounding hard through his ribcage. “I don't understand,” he says, though he probably should have elaborated on this some more, but as it was, his mouth had chosen to say the first thing that came to mind.  Then, “What the hell are you even saying?" he says, and he knows he’s saying this now mostly to coax something more out of Nino than what he’d already said, something more definite to base his actions that night and why Nino is saying these things right now.

He knows he should ask after the reason why there are two Nino’s in this lifetime aside from the one he left back there in the Jimusho, hell bent on finding out as soon as possible, but he’ll get to that soon enough.

For now, he wants this Nino to tell him what he meant by what he just said so he’ll know what to do from here on.

He blinks once, twice, opens his mouth to say something but Nino beats him to it by reaching over to settle a hand against his cheek, shaking his head as Nino’s palm closes around his jaw.

"I love you, Oh-chan," Nino whispers, their eyes meeting as he feels the warm press of Nino’s palm against his face, "God knows I have always loved you, too,"

God, that just wiped all his doubts away, feeling ridiculously happy that it is borderline creepy; like anyone can slap him now and he’d still end up smiling. He finds that the lump in his throat now feels so different than the one before it, closing his eyes and leaning further into Nino’s hand still curled around his cheek.

+++

They spent the next few minutes sitting next to each other in companionable silence, their hands tightly clasped together, their thighs and arms touching as if the tiniest of distance is as scary as it is unbearable. The gesture is so painfully familiar that it makes him wonder whether they’ve always been like this and he just didn’t notice it then, only he is sure that they’re not.

It’s because they spent so many years dancing around the issue, spent so long tiptoeing carefully around each other for so long that it was so difficult to take the first brave step and know that everything will turn out as he wishes them to be. He didn’t, he couldn’t, despite the fact that he knows – had known it for as long as he could remember – exactly what it is he feels about Nino but instead, he kept quiet. He did that mostly because he was afraid – and he still is – to lose Nino if he as much as breathe a word about what he truly feels for the younger man.

But it only takes them a night, and oddly enough, another admittedly braver version of Nino for them to be able to take that one, final step that had eventually led them to where they are now.

And that’s probably the funny thing about all these. The fact that he knows - and actually accepted it – the existence of two Ninomiya Kazunaris in this lifetime, no matter how unbelievable it all is.

He knows he should feel at least a bit creep out about all these, about the fact that he is somehow with Nino now while there’s another Nino out there somewhere, but he’s not and that’s that. Not to mention the fact that this Nino right here, is the same person he spent the night (or very early morning) loving every inch of, the same person he spent the better part of the hour discovering every hidden ridges of his body and not the one he left behind earlier.

He tugs at their joined hands, turning their palms over until he can somehow run his thumb against Nino’s knuckles, smiling quietly when Nino gasps in surprise as if he’d been electrocuted.

"So there are two of you," he says or at least starts to, but pauses for a bit to throw Nino a sideway glance.

"Um," Nino hums, and it's obviously a confirmation more than anything else.

"And the other Nino wasn't the one I spent the early hours of that morning fu -"

"Yes," Nino cuts in quickly. "You checked him out before but you found nothing, am I right?"

“So if you and him are the same person, does this mean we – I mean, you and him and me -” he says with a start, pausing and staring at his thumb stroking lazy circles across Nino’s skin, and finds himself grinning at the onslaught of filthy images involving the three of them before he could even stop them.

“Oh my god, get your mind off the gutter, Leader,” Nino tells him, at the same time he looks up to find the blush covering Nino’s face.

“What?” he mutters, trying to look as innocent that he knows he can never be, before tugging at their joined hands again so he could drop another kiss against the back of Nino’s knuckles.

“Oh quit the act,” Nino tells him, mouth quirking embarrassingly at the edges and god, he has this huge urge to reach over and touch it, feel it melt beneath his palm but holds himself back. “Your thoughts are really loud, oh my god, I can’t believe you even thought about it – eww –“

He laughs because he can’t help it.

“Fine fine,” he agrees with a smile and turns to find Nino staring thoughtfully down on their joined hands. “What is it?”

“You’re not upset,” Nino says, and it’s more of a statement rather than a question which he simply answers with a nod. “So does this mean you… you believe it?”

“Do I have any choice?” he asks; Nino looks down and shrugs. “Well, that’s what I thought, too,”

“I didn’t mean to –“ Nino starts then pauses to bite his lips, and he guesses it’s just as difficult for Nino as it is for him. “ – to confuse you more than you already are, but –“

“It’s alright,” he tells Nino, “if you don’t want to tell me the reasons why you’re here, I’ll respect that,”

Nino shakes his head and reaches over to touch his face with his free hand. “It’s not like I don’t want to tell you,” Nino says, “it’s just… it’s just that I’m scared I’ll end up messing things up even more and I don’t want that. Especially not if it’s going to cost you your –“

“My what?”

Nino shakes his head again and god, it’s so frustrating being told such things and withdrawing the more important details. Nino cups his chin with his free hand and he feels Nino’s thumb against the side of his mouth, soft and tender, before Nino leans over to kiss the same spot, chaste and barely-there.

“Just trust me, Leader,” Nino whispers, “Trust me when I say that I am here to make sure nothing bad is going to happen to you,”


+++

“So I was right,” he breathes, “you didn’t come here for nothing. Of course there was a reason you’re here, why there are two of you here, but –“

“No, please, don’t,”

He pushes himself into Nino’s space and lets go of Nino’s hand if only so he could take Nino’s face in between his hands.

“Tell me,” he says, “Tell me, Nino, or I swear I’ll never talk to either of you, ever,”

“Leader, don’t do this,” Nino begs, his eyes so bright that the sight alone makes his heartbeat falter. “Don’t, please,”

“Is it me?” he asks, and as if on cue, Nino’s eyes widen. “So it is me,” he breathes, “I’m the reason you’re here,”

“Leader,”

“The night of your birthday,” he starts, not giving Nino the chance to preempt him, pausing just for a second to press a quick kiss against Nino’s lips. “The moment you came out from your bedroom and saw me, the look on your eyes, the way you threw yourself into me, the way you hugged me…”

“O-Ohno-san, please –“

“When you said you’ve missed me,”

Nino shakes his head at this, keeps shaking it, wriggling himself away from his grasp and taking his face in between Nino’s hands this time around. “No, please, no,”

“What you said earlier about regretting not telling me how you feel for years and that seeing me again changed that…”

“God, please –“

“From where you came from…”

Nino kisses him, and it’s obvious that he does it to shut him up but he can’t – he refused to.

“I’m dead, aren’t I?”

Nino freezes, and this time, he allows it when Nino catches his mouth into a hard kiss, shoving his tongue inside his mouth to suck on his own, as if by doing that Nino will be able to erase the words he just said.

It won’t.

+++

He follows Nino to the door, refusing to let go even when Nino stooped down to put on his shoes.

"Why don't you just stay?"

Nino rises to his feet and shakes his head. "He's on his way here. I should go before he gets here,"

"Why?" he asks, tugging at Nino's hand stubbornly. "Stay. I want you both here when we talk about -"

"There's nothing to talk about, Leader," Nino grunts in return, mouth curling into a stubborn scowl. "Nothing. You'll be fine and he'll be here in a few so I have to go. I can't be here when I know there are things you need to settle with him, too,"

"We can settle it with you," he counters, "you don't need to leave,"

"I have to," Nino tells him, reaching up to finger the side of his mouth. "because you're going to kiss him and I can't be in here to see that. I can't. It's not fair,"

"What?"

Nino smiles and leans in for a kiss, soft and chaste, sweet. "Don't overthink it," Nino says, "Just do what your heart wants to," Nino pauses here, leaning in forward to kiss his cheek, the tips of his nose, his chin.

"Catch him by surprise, it'll be good for him," Nino says with a wink, before he's out of the door and out of his sight before he can even blink.