I Have Kept You In My Heart

[nilielh]

Title : [Fic] I Have Kept You In My Heart 21
Pairing : Ohno/Jun, Sho/Nino, Aiba/Becky, Ohno/Nino, Eventual Jun/?
Rating : R
Summary : AU. Before Jun, there was only Nino.  The man Ohno loved with everything he had, loved with such ferocity that any other emotion would pale in comparison. He was Ohno's everything, the love of his life, the person Ohno dreamed of sharing his whole life with someday. Until Nino's untimely death, six years ago.
Word count : around 5500 words
Disclaimer : fiction, yo!
Warning : Angst in large doses. Memory loss. Minor character death. One-sided love.
Note : Also crossposted in AO3

 

 

It still took him about an hour’s drive to Katori from Aiba’s place in Chiba, despite it being relatively late. The roads were almost empty saved from the few vehicles driving to and from Chiba, but Ohno barely noticed it as he focused his attention on driving as quickly as he could manage it to the hospital Jun said he’d needed to go to. The Sawara hospital, Chiba’s prefectural hospital in Katori, was where Yuri’s body had been taken, according to the officer who’d talked to Jun

He had no idea how Yuri ended up there.

From what he could gather from his brief and hurried phone call with Jun, it was a little after midnight when the local police have been contacted about a pickup truck that was parked in front of a closed soba shop in Okura. The shop’s owner, a fifty-something year old foreign immigrant, said he didn’t notice the vehicle earlier when he closed the shop, but found it weird that it was parked there when he’d gone down to make sure he’d locked the front door sometime before midnight. So he had gone out to check.

That was when it was said he’d found the body.

Shop owner had insisted he knew right away that something was wrong, from the angle Yuri’s body was found on the passenger’s seat, to the awful bruises he had on his face.

The first question that came to his mind was, what was Yuri doing in Chiba when he was supposed to be in Tokyo? Sure, it was only a few hour’s drive, but still, Yuri had no business being here, when there were tons of work he had going at home. Not to mention the fact that not even a few hours ago, Ohno had talked to him about the samples he was supposed to deliver to Higashima-san’s office.

Did Yuri drive out here for something else? If he did, then what was it?

He mechanically went through the motion of parking his car at the first free spot he found when he got there at the hospital, then throwing the driver’s side door open and literally jumping out of the car at once.

The officers that brought in Yuri’s body were already there, waiting for him. 

The whole process was numbing, from identifying Yuri’s body and explaining his relationship with the deceased. Apparently, it was him who had been contacted first when Yuri was found; the last known number Yuri had apparently called before his death was his, but they said they weren’t able to reach him.

So they called the next number on the list. And it was Jun’s.

“We need your approval to perform an autopsy on the body,” one of the officers informed him, once they were done running him through the initial procedures – signing his name on the form provided, answering their inquiries regarding his relationship with Yuri, his whereabouts at the time of the incident, and other standard questions regarding his identity, his work, his address as stated on the identification card he’d provided.

It was all very surreal, and Ohno had to remind himself to stay focused countless of times despite the difficulty. 

“Since you’re insisting you’re the only family he has,” the officer added. He nodded, felt his eyes sting yet again at the thought of Yuri, of this tragic end that nothing could have prepared him for, or anyone for that matter. 

“He’s…an orphan,” he murmured. “We…My family took him in when his parents died. It…It was a long time ago and –“ he paused here, shaking his head, trembling in disbelief. He couldn’t erase the memory of Yuri’s pale and swollen face from his mind, the bruises, and the obvious pain those inflicted on him before he died.

A brief pause, then, “Ohno-san, we know this is hard, but you have to know that you’re the only one we could ask to for this. Without your approval, we wouldn’t be able to –“

“W-Will…Will you let me know as soon as you find out w-what…what happened to him?” he asked, effectively cutting the officer off. He got a nod in answer, at the same time he was handed another form he had to sign.

He accepted the papers with trembling fingers, biting his lips and wondering who was capable of doing such horrible thing to someone, furious and equal-parts terrified at the memory of witnessing the same thing six years ago. The only difference might be the fact that Nino had probably escaped the torture by jumping out of the window, not caring whether he would be jumping to his death instead.

He shivered at the thought that the two incidents might be connected, and somehow, that was even more terrifying than trying to figure out who did this. Because if that was the case, then that meant the person responsible for both was one and the same.

If that was the case, Ohno could bet that whoever it was who did this wasn’t done yet.

That only meant Nino was in grave danger.

He groaned, dropping his head in his hands, and hoped to god that he was wrong.

---

He’d just finished sending Nino (technically Aiba, since he owned the phone) a message that he would not make it there in the morning because of an emergency when he spotted Jun approaching. He stood and was immediately tugged into Jun’s embrace when Jun was close enough to pull him in, the issue between them momentarily forgotten.

“Satoshi, I’m so sorry,” whispered Jun into his hair and Ohno nodded, hugging Jun back. The genuine concern wasn’t at all surprising, and Ohno welcomed it, grateful for it even. When Jun pulled away, he’d guided them back on one of the benches there, helping him to sit. Jun took the one to his right, looked him over and reached out to take his hand.

“Have you talked to the police? Did they tell you anything?”

He shook his head. “Yes and no, to answer both your questions,” he said, squeezing Jun’s hand. “I’m glad you’re here, Jun. I…Fuck, I don’t know what else to do. Yuri’s…God, I don’t know why this has to happen to him. He’s a good kid, he’s –“

“I know, Satoshi,” Jun squeezed his hand in return, “I know this is hard, but you have to calm down, okay? Do you want me to talk to the officers who met with you earlier? To check if they have –“

“They’re…doing an autopsy on him now, I think,” he said, taking his hand back in favor of scrubbing his face with it. The agony was making him lose his goddamn mind, and he wondered if things were even going to get better from here on.

“They…asked me to…to give them permission for it. Since…Yuri has no… since he has no one, no family to get the permission from,”

Jun shuddered out a breath. “You’re his family, Satoshi,” Jun whispered, “I’m sure Yuri-kun would have been glad to know you’re doing this for him. You did good, okay. You did good.”

He would have thanked Jun for that, for being here, for staying, but he couldn’t, not when he was shaking hard, muffling his sobs against Jun’s arm and struggling to keep it together even though he knew it wasn’t ever going to be easy.

---

They were there for about an hour when Jun remembered to check his phone. There were at least five messages and two missed calls notifications on the screen, all of them from the same person. He sighed and glanced to his right to where Ohno had remained unmoving for the past half hour, not talking and simply staring into the space before him as if it held all the answers.

He pocketed his phone and reached out to squeeze Ohno’s shoulder. Ohno startled, as if he was woken from sleep.

“Sorry,” he apologized, “Will you be okay here for a bit? I’m going to buy us something to drink,”

Ohno simply nodded. He smiled. “Alright, I’ll be right back.”

Ohno reached out to grab his hand before he could go. Jun stared him down and for a moment there, he was reminded of the very first time he had met Ohno, how he’d slowly fell for him. At the space of that few seconds looking at the face of the man he’d once loved, and maybe still did, Jun realized that he didn’t hate him. He couldn’t. He ought to be grateful too, because despite knowing that Ohno’s heart was, and would always belong to Ninomiya, in his own ways, he’d loved Jun, too. Cared for him. Cherished him. He probably still would if Ninomiya hadn’t come back to life and claim what had always been his.

Jun guessed he just had to accept that. It would take a while but he was willing to. For his sake and for Ohno, too.

“Thanks, Jun,” Ohno murmured.

He smiled and bumped his fist against Ohno’s cheek softly. He felt light, lighter than he had in weeks, despite everything.

“It’s nothing,” he said, “Just stay put, okay? I’ll be right back.”

---

 

“I shouldn’t have let you go there alone,” Sakurai-sensei sounded stressed even despite the static noise in the background, and Jun couldn’t help but snigger quietly in answer. Then he realized he probably shouldn’t be acting like a giggling teenager, especially now when they were supposed to be grieving, but he just couldn’t help it.

He sighed, eyeing the vending machine at the end of the dimly-lighted hallway, just as Sakurai-sensei muttered, “I mean, are you sure you’ll be okay? I thought you said it’s just you and your ex –“

“Sensei, shouldn’t you be sleeping already?” he said, cutting the other man off. “Don’t you have work early tomorrow, I mean today?”

“Jun-san, I –“

“Have nothing to worry about, I promise,” he said, cutting Sakurai-sensei off again. “Ohno can’t hurt me more than he already has, so, you can just sleep properly tonight. I know it’s complicated, I get that, but that’s not what’s important right now. He’s…he needs me, Sensei. And Yuri-kun’s like a brother to the both of us, so I want to be here for him, too. Just because Ohno and I broke up means everything has to change, don’t you think?”

Sakurai-sensei was quiet for a moment and Jun knew he was thinking about what he should say next. For some reason, the thought of him right now made Jun smile, the way he must look at the moment, as he struggled to find the right words to say to convince Jun.

“Well, you can think on it tomorrow. I have to go back inside to see if they’re done with the autopsy. I told Ohno I’m going out for a bit to buy us something to drink,”

The sound of Sensei breathing unevenly on the other end made him pause. “You’ll call me if there’s anything, right?”

He chuckled. “Sensei, you do know you’re acting like a worried boyfriend right now, yes? Please stop,”

“I…Why should I?” Sakurai-sensei asked, without missing a beat.

Jun’s chest expanded on a breath. “Because I might be getting used to it, and we both know that’s not…really what I need, what I should be focusing on right now. We both know I’ve got tons of shit to wade through and even bigger issues to fix first before everything gets better. You being there for me every step of the way is a blessing, alright, don’t get me wrong, but you have to know that this – whatever the hell this is between us, the way you’re making me feel right now might not help me at all,” he said.

“Jun-san, listen–“

“I will, but not now, okay?” he countered, certain he was doing the right thing, not only for himself but for this, whatever the hell this thing was between him and Sakurai. He could no longer deny the fact that the doctor’s presence in his life when he needed him most felt like a blessing in disguise, if not more. Facing all of that had been somewhat bearable because of him, and Jun would be lying if he would say he wasn’t hoping they could be so much more to each other someday.

“You’ve done enough for me already, and I appreciate that. We will talk about this someday, maybe soon, but not now, okay? And I promise you don’t have to worry about me. Ohno can be a lot of things but I swear to you he knows how to take care of people, too. He’s taken good care of me for years, Sensei. I’m just too bitter to see it, because I wanted so much more from him that I know he can never give me. I know that now, of course. And I’ve accepted it. I promise I’ll be okay,”

Another pause, then, “Will you…at least call me tomorrow, then? Just to let me know how you’re doing, please, Jun-san? For my peace of mind, and as your doctor as well, can you do that, Jun-san?”

Jun could hear the uncertainty in the doctor’s voice, and for some reason, Jun couldn’t find the heart to tell Sakurai-sensei no.

“Sure, Sensei. I’ll call you. Now, please go to bed. One of us should at least get a good night’s sleep. Be glad that it’s you.”

The sound of the other man’s quiet sigh of relief was both amusing and charming. And Jun wasn’t at all immune to it. 

“Thank you, Jun-san.” Was the last thing he heard from Sakurai-sensei before the line went dead.

Jun inhaled, put his phone back to his pants’ pocket and smiled, realized he was still smiling when he got to where the vending machine was.

---

“What do you mean he’s not coming?” Aiba asked; he sounded confused and Nino would bet he looked like it too. Nino shrugged and lifted the covers off of him, let Aiba help him out of bed and onto his wobbly legs, but not before gesturing over Aiba’s phone sitting on the nightstand there.

“He sent me a text, well, technically you, since it’s your phone, saying he couldn’t make it. Said there was an emergency,” he explained, grunting as he struggled to walk towards the waiting wheelchair Aiba had helpfully set up for him this morning. He could actually stand without help, but it was still a struggle trying to walk straight when his legs felt like they didn’t want to cooperate most of the time. The therapist he’d been working with liked to tell him he should be grateful he could even stand, or sit up easily without help; given the accident and the years he’d spent in a coma, the chances of him dying eventually had always been kind of feared, if not expected.

To be fair, Nino kind of got what that meant exactly.

“I only read it this morning, when you rudely woke me up,” he added, grunting, panting a little once he was settled comfortably on the wheelchair and watched after Aiba as he fetched his mobile phone from the night stand.

“Did you reply?”

“No,”

Aiba turned and gave him a look. “Did you want to?”

He huffed. He wanted to, of course, of course, he even considered calling Ohno up just to check on him but the stubborn part of him simply wouldn’t let him. He kept telling himself that if Ohno had wanted him to know what kind of emergency it was, the reason why he couldn’t make it when he’d sounded so sure the night before, he would have. But he didn’t.

Nino supposed that was answer enough.

“The guy said it was an emergency,” he said, “What would you want me to reply to that?”

Aiba sighed. Then he walked the short distance between them and leaned down to cuff him lightly across his forehead, before Aiba kneeled in front of him and pulled him into a hug.

“Call him, Nino,” Aiba said as he pulled away and stood, leaving his mobile phone on Nino’s lap. “I know you want to. I’ll be back when you’re done.” Then he left.

Nino sighed and shook his head, and only contemplated a moment before he was grabbing the phone, breathed hard, and unlocked it.

---

This wasn’t the first time he’d gone a full day without sleep – god knew how many times he had to do the same when inspiration struck and he’d chosen to forego sleeping in favor of finishing whatever it was he was working on – but this time’s obviously different. He was exhausted beyond exhaustion, and he could feel it down to the marrow of his bones.

It also didn’t help that he’d have to be the one to call his parents and inform them about what had happened, while leaving most of the horrible parts to himself, despite his mother’s insistence that he tell her.

He couldn’t.

They were handed the autopsy reports three hours after the procedure started, he and Jun were both been called in into a vacant room to explain the contents of it. To be honest, he could no longer remember most of the terms the officer used; he was certain he’d gone temporarily deaf when he heard that the cause of Yuri’s death was strangulation, as evident on the ligature marks around his neck. On top of that, there was also the evidence that Yuri had been raped, sodomised, before his death. The bruises on his face indicated that he’d been shoved forcefully into a hard surface, both his arms were broken, his wrists too.

Ohno wondered how anyone could be so cruel to do that to someone else.

After that, he’d told Jun to go home, but he doubted if he did. He thought he heard him say something about driving straight to his folks, to inform them personally about the incident. He didn’t have the strength to tell Jun he’d already called them – he was certain Jun had heard him talking to them earlier, anyway – but he guessed there were other stuff that needed to be taken care of, like where to hold the funeral and such, and Jun had taken the initiative to do it himself.

He honestly didn’t know what to do here, now. They’ve been informed they weren’t allowed to take Yuri’s body home just yet, at least not until the police were done with their initial investigation, and he guessed that meant he could go for now and maybe get some sleep, but his brain seemed to have stopped functioning properly since the result briefing earlier.

He’d wanted to call Nino and check on him, but he was afraid Nino would notice how weak he was at the moment, how desperate he was to go back to him, to see him, to know that he was safe. He wanted to, but something told him that Nino would be much safer if he was with Aiba, and that Aiba wouldn’t let anything bad happen to Nino no matter what.

As if on cue, his phone vibrated in his grasp, signaling a call. When he’d raised it to check, his chest expanded on a breath, as he slapped his phone to his ear, relief and longing mingling when he heard Nino’s voice calling his name from the other end.

“Nino, hey,”

A beat, a pause, then came Nino’s voice. “Ohno-san, you okay?” was the simple question, but he felt the genuine concern despite the static noises, despite the distance separating him from Nino.

He swallowed past the lump that lodged itself in his throat, remembering Yuri’s lifeless body, of Nino’s own when he thought Nino died in his arms that night all those years ago. The agony was something he was not ready for, and the remembered pain resurfacing almost brought him to his knees, if not for the way that Nino’s voice, and his presence, was a firm reminder for him to be strong, to make sure he’d carry on despite the difficulty.

“I’m not, but I promise I will be,” he answered, fingers gripping his phone tightly. “I’m sorry I couldn’t make it today, but I swear I wanted to. I wanted to be there with you, I promise, but unfortunately, this thing can’t be…postponed. I was actually planning on calling you later, just to hear your voice, but you’re calling now so, thank you. I… needed to hear your voice, after everything that’s…” he said then stopped, catching himself halfway.

“What? What is it?”

He breathed through his nose and reiterated. “Nothing. Are you on your way to the, uh, the house?”

“Not yet, but maybe after I’ve had coffee,” Nino answered, “Are you sure you’re okay? Because you don’t sound like it,” Nino noted, obviously catching the edge in his voice, the strain that he was trying his best to hide.

“I’ll be fine, I promise,”

“You’re lying,” Nino countered, “You don’t seem fine. I don’t have to see you to know this, okay? Where are you exactly right now anyway? Back in Tokyo?”

He bit his lips. “No. No, I…I’m in Katori,”

“Katori? Where in Katori? And what are you even doing there?” he could just hear the confusion in Nino’s voice, the worry, and Ohno wished he could do something to ease all of it. To keep Nino away from all the hurtful things that might bring him pain, to make sure he was safe the way he wasn’t able to before.

“I’ll explain everything when we see each other, okay?” he said, “Just…I know I can’t stop you from going to that house, but just…please promise me you’ll be careful, alright? Tell Aiba-chan to keep his eyes on you at all times. Can you do that? Please, Kazu?”

Nino sighed; it sounded like fondness and disbelieve rolled into one, and Ohno ached in all the places that count, hearing it. Nino obviously wanted to ask more, but Ohno knew him enough to know Nino was trying hard not to. He must be thinking he didn’t have the right.

God, he could honestly relate to that.

“If you promise to do the same, Ohno-san, maybe then you’ll have a deal,” Nino said.

Ohno felt like weeping, and the urge to hold Nino tight was so strong he could barely breathe through it. He wondered if it had always been like this, before when he thought Nino was dead. Probably worse, because now, even though Nino was here, alive and real, Ohno couldn’t do more than look at him. He wondered if he would ever get to do more than that, if Nino would even allow him.

Would that even happen without Nino getting his memories back? If he did, would that mean he could claim Nino back as if the years he spent with someone else didn’t happen?

“I’d say you don’t need to worry about me, but okay. You get yourself a deal, Kazunari,” he breathed, feeling the ache for missing Nino so much doubled on its own.

Another pause. “Fine. I’ll see you soon, then?”

He smiled even though it hurt, clutching his phone close to his ear hoping he could prolong the moment, to hear Nino’s voice a little bit longer.

“Maybe sooner than you think,” he whispered, “Bye for now, yeah?”

“Bye, Ohno-san.” He hung up, and despite the heaviness in his heart, Ohno had, too.

---

Choshi wasn’t exactly how he remembered it to be. There were more building-type apartments than there were normal houses, the roads didn’t look the way they used to that Nino was certain he’d get lost right away if he went here alone.

He said the same to Aiba, but his best friend chuckled and simply gave him a look as if saying he was being silly, before he proceeded on grilling Nino about the conversation he had with Ohno earlier, before they left the apartment.

A part of him was glad Becky wasn’t here to hear this. He’d had enough of her charming little giggles as she listened to Aiba gossip about Nino’s ‘past’ with Ohno, especially since he couldn’t remember any of it.

“Don’t be stupid,” he muttered, when Aiba asked if he told Ohno he’d wait for him to come. “How did you expect me to say that to him?”

“You just say it. It’s not that hard, if you ask me,” Aiba countered, grinning, just as he drove the car past a convenience store, then made a quick right turn there. Nino frowned at the road they’re taking now, knew it in his heart somehow that there would be a typical Japanese house at the end of it.

And he was right.

When they stopped, Nino had this odd feeling settling at the pit of his stomach, as he stared at the familiar sight of the house he’d grew up in from the car. He’d barely noticed Aiba getting out of the car, barely realized he’d gotten the wheelchair ready and was opening the passenger’s side door to help Nino out until he was already there.

“Are you sure you’re up for this?” Aiba asked when he accepted the help, forcing his legs to cooperate until he was finally on his feet on the ground. Aiba helped him sit on the wheelchair, rounded the way to the front to ask him again.

He chuckled and looked away, hoping Aiba didn’t notice he was shaking. “Yes. I wouldn’t ask you to take me here if I wasn’t certain,”

Aiba gave him a long, hard look, shrugged, then murmured, “Alright, you’re the boss.”

---

He was smiling; he must look silly, but he was confident Ohno still liked him despite it. He tugged Ohno in, forceful in a way he normally wasn’t, but Ohno had simply allowed it, arms going around his waist in counter.

“You’re smiling,” Ohno mused, as he backed them slowly against the door of his room, careful steps that made things in belly clench deliciously in answer. “What’s up?”

“No one’s home,” he answered, licking his lips. “That ought to cheer a man up, don’t you think?”

“Ah,”

He snickered and leaned in for a quick kiss. “Don’t ahh me, you bastard. D’you know how long I’ve waited for you? Five hours. It took all of my reserved willpower not to do anything while I was waiting for you,”

“Because?”

He snickered again, pulled Ohno to him and hid his face against Ohno’s shoulder. “I’m not saying it,”

Ohno laughed and pulled him in for a kiss as if he couldn’t help it either. Nino went willingly, just like always, felt the way his body moved along with Ohno’s as the older man guided them towards the open door, lips skimming his jaw lightly, teasingly.

“You don’t have to, Kazu,” Ohno murmured, hands dancing across the small of Nino’s back like a lover. “And I’m here now. I’m going to take care of you, I promise.”

 

They haven’t even gotten far, not that he would even notice it at this point. The wave of memories was overwhelming he realized he was gasping for air, head trashing around, watching the memories like a replay, scenes before him that weren’t even there.

He could hear Aiba frantically calling his name, could feel his friend’s cold hands on his face as he sobbed and called someone else’s name.

 

Ohno was on his knees, looking up at him with an expression so fond, so silly, and Nino felt like hitting him, kissing him, or crying with him. They were in an unfamiliar room, in an unfamiliar country, an unplanned vacation that took Ohno weeks to set in motion.

He was still on his boxers, hair tousled and messy. Ohno was no different either, but still, that didn’t stop him from going down on one knee and driving Nino to his early grave by making him giggle so hard at him in answer. The serious look on Ohno’s face obviously didn’t help either.

“Come on, Kazu, your answer,” Ohno demanded, the jerk, holding out a ring and giving Nino a look. “I don’t have all day, you know? Actually, that makes the two of us. Remember our lunch date downtown, yeah? So, be a darling and answer me already. Also, have mercy on my poor knees. They’re already complaining,”

He giggled, couldn’t not. “Not my fault, obviously,”

“No, but you can at least pretend to be nice? Come on, two options. Will you marry me here? Yes or yes?”

“Oh my god,”

“No one will know if that’s how you want to play it,” Ohno said, still grinning like he knew he wouldn’t lose. Nino guessed he had a point. “We’ll keep it a secret, I promise,”

The look on his face must have given him away, because then Ohno was surging upward and holding him, lips pressing soft kisses across his face.

“So, yes?”

“You’re a bastard, I hope you know that,”

“Yessss. I’m going to be a wedded man before I leave this country, so awesome.”

“God, I hate you.”

“Sure, Nino. I know you do.”

 

The sob that made its way out of his mouth was sudden, the pain that came after it even more so. He was shaking hard in Aiba’s embrace, could hear him mumbling something about calling someone, but Nino didn’t give a shit anymore. He was remembering things faster than he could comprehend them, and the pain that laced each one was worse than the last.

 

It was stupid, and nonsense, but he guessed there were just times where he felt like he wasn’t enough. The frustration was crippling, the ache settling over his heart felt like a painful cut slashing through his vitals.

He could hear Ohno calling out to him, but he was too upset to care. He’d rounded the corner and somehow, there, Ohno had caught up to him, grabbing him around the waist and effectively stopping him. Then he was being turned, and the look on Ohno’s face almost broke his heart.

“Don’t run,” Ohno whispered, hand squeezing his hips. “Kazu, please don’t,”

He looked away. “Tell me what I did wrong,” Ohno pleaded, “Tell me so I can fix it. Not like this. Don’t run away from me like this, please,”

He shook his head. “No,”

“Please? Please, Kazu,”

“I can’t. I –“

Ohno pulled him in, held him so tight he could barely breathe. “Please. Please please please –“

He shook his head, kept shaking it, despite Ohno’s fingers working their way up to touch his face, his jaw, his cheek. Ohno’s eyes were shaded with misery, his touch a gentle reminder that Nino was being unfair.

He bit his lips, wishing he could say the words without feeling like the world’s biggest jerk, but he knew it would be difficult. This was his fault, as it always had been when jealousy struck and he couldn’t do anything to stop it.

“You…do you still love me?” he croaked, finding it difficult to breathe, much more speak. “Do you, Oh-chan?”

Ohno’s answering sigh was so, so fond and helpless that it was difficult not to notice it. His hands pulled Nino in, closer and closer still, before one of them moved to settle across Nino’s nape to hold him in place.

“Look at me and tell me what you see,” Ohno dared, their lips almost touching. “If I look at you differently now than I did years and years ago, just tell me,”

“Oh-chan –“

Ohno leaned in, resting their foreheads together, fingers cradling his face gently, so very gently. “I told you this before and I will tell you again now,” Ohno whispered, lips against his cheek. “I love you so much. I will love you forever, Kazu. Forever, you hear me? I married you, remember? I married you. If that’s not enough reason for you to believe me, then look here,” Ohno said, reaching down to take his hand and placing it over his chest, above his heart that was beating underneath. “Put your hand here and be assured that you’re the only one I wished to spend my whole life with. Only you, Kazu. Just you.”

 

He broke down, shaking hard, disbelieving. The rush of emotion washing over him in the span of those few minutes, along with the memories he’d kept tucked away in his mind for years was overwhelming and equally heartbreaking. 

“No! But you promised me! You promised you’d love me forever! Just me! No, but you promised…you promised, Oh-chan,”

“Shhh, Nino, calm down, please calm down, Jesus, you’re scaring me,”

Another memory hit back, and Nino found himself scrambling to the ground, gaze lost in front of him.

 

He rushed back in the house only to get the documents he needed, the copies he’d kept just for this purpose. He hadn’t told Ohno yet he’d gone ahead with the plan, but only because he had simply wanted to surprise him.

Well, this was just a formality anyway. They’d both signed up for it one and a half years ago, but it was only this year that they’ve found a suitable (and willing) candidate. The woman was a native of Hokkaido, but she was currently residing in Tokyo. She was a single mother of an autistic son, and she signed up at the medical facility running the surrogacy campaign for the money they’d be paying her.

The call he received earlier confirmed that the procedure was a go.

Ohno was going to be a father soon.

And Nino couldn’t wait to tell him the good news.

 

“Oh my god. Oh my god,” he scrambled to the ground, trembling.

“What is it? What is it?”

“Oh god, what have I done? Oh-chan doesn’t know. I have to let him know, I have to –“ was the last thing he remembered saying before everything went black.