nilielh | [Fic] I Love You, Stranger

Title : [Fic] I Love You, Stranger - 1
Rating : PG
Pairing: Ohno/Nino
Summary : Losing the love of his life to an accident 2 years prior, Nino decided it was high time he moved on; but things had its major turn around when at the same day he finally found the strength to let go, a man who looked exactly like Ohno appeared out of nowhere.
Disclaimer : fiction, yo!

“Any plans for later? I think we’re free after this, we can go out and have dinner if you want.” Jun asked, not even bothering to look up from his script as he thumbed through the pages but he could feel the underlying worry present underneath those words and he sighed deeply, quietly.

It’s that time of the year again.

“Well if you ask me, I think I’d rather spend some quality time with my beloved game console and beat the living shit out of that final boss I’ve been trying to annihilate for over a week now.” he answered, forcing out a grin. Jun finally raised his face and threw him a Look, lips pursed thinly.

“Nino -” Jun called, cautiously peering at Nino underneath his lashes and Nino couldn’t help but scowl back.

“I know what you’re trying to do here, Jun-pon,” he grumbled, pausing in time to see Sho and Aiba simultaneously turned their heads towards him, worried eyes locked on his face. “I’m fine. Stop worrying about me so much, it’ll give you wrinkles and I swear to god, not even your nightly beauty routine could stop it from showing up in your face if you're not careful.”

“But it’s your birthday,” Aiba spoke for the first time, his tone insistent. Nino mentally rolled his eyes, feeling that sudden prick inside his ribcage that certainly wasn’t because of some sickness he might have acquired unknowingly.

He breathed in deeply, unconsciously gripping the front of his chest as if it would somehow lessen the pain, but it didn't. Seeing the expression on Jun and Sho’s face at exactly the same time he did it, Nino dropped his hand on his lap and shook his head, feeling slightly embarrassed.

“We should at least celebrate! Don’t worry, it’s our treat. You don’t need to pay anything.” the taller man added with seemingly forced glee that made Nino wince quietly to himself.

Nino shrugged nonchalantly. “I’d appreciate it more if you just give me the latest Final Fantasy game as a gift rather than going out to drink, You know I’m never fond of drinking expensive liquids that makes your head throb the next morning. I still think it’s rather stupid.” he murmured, his lips curling just the tiniest bit.

“Nino, please.” this time, it was Sho; the older man looked entirely unconvinced at the obvious faked smugness on his tone and Nino suddenly felt tired, so tired about some things and everything all at the same time.

“Fine,” he agreed, not bothering saving his game and closing his console without missing a beat. Then he raised his face and locked his eyes on Sho’s before shifting his gaze towards Jun and Aiba. “But don’t blame me if I ended up getting royally drunk for once, okay? I might even throw up on your faces if you’re all lucky.” he added with a smug grin before hauling himself up. Aiba was the first to throw himself at him, long arms and limbs wrapping around him into a warm, affectionate embrace. Jun stood behind them and smacked the back of Nino’s head lightly, snorting.

“As if I will let you. I’ll kill you if you as much as dare putting anything that comes out from your mouth anywhere near me,” Jun said with a faked threat and Nino rolled his eyes at him, feeling Aiba’s arms tightened around him before dropping one of his hand at the small of his back.

He didn’t know why he suddenly remembered the feel of someone else’s hand at the exact same place, shivering as he stilled for a moment before Aiba spoke up again.

“Don’t worry Nino-chan, you can throw up at my face anytime! But I wish you'd do it when I'm knocked out cold so I wouldn't end up throwing at your face in return, how's that?”

Jun made a gagging sound at the back of his throat while Sho pretty much started rolling down the floor in laughter. “Ewww, Masaki, that’s the grossest suggestion you have ever came up with! Shut up, just shut up!”

Another round of loud laughter and Jun’s repeated whack against Aiba’s head, they lead him towards the door and outside their green room, just the four of them on their way to celebrate his 30th birthday.

++

He honestly couldn’t remember the last time the four of them went out like this and somehow, it was comforting to know that he still has it in him to actually enjoy their company despite having to remind himself repeatedly that being four was how it always has been. Jun and Sho had this look on their faces that made him squirm every now and then but true to being the reliable adults, they never once let an unnecessary word out just to keep the air between them as light as possible.

Of course, everything changed when Aiba had finally pumped enough alcohol in his system that he decided it was high time for some serious reminiscing.

At that point, Nino wanted no part in it but Aiba’s insistent tugging and teary-eyed monologues prevented him from doing something drastic, say, leaving them to deal with Aiba and his never-ending questions or go home and pretend that it didn’t bother him anymore than he did before.

Still, Nino stayed and listened as Aiba poured his heart out and the rest of them remembering that one person who left them two years ago.

Their beloved leader. Their dearest friend; and the love of Nino’s life.

Ohno.

“You guys remember how good Leader was during interviews even though he was mostly asleep?” Aiba slurred, his voice too bright and slightly shaking and the corners of his eyes glistening with tears. Sho has one hand at the small of Aiba’s back while Jun pretty much stayed quiet since Aiba started mentioning Ohno’s name, his arms crossed tightly over his chest. Nino was slumped back on the couch, fingers digging tightly against his palm as he listened and listened, swallowing back that lump forming in his throat.

“Aiba-chan,” Sho called, trying to distract the taller man by placing another bottle in front of him. They knew that the only way to shut him up was to get him drunker than ever until he could no longer open his eyes and the three of them would drag him out, chuckling to themselves. “There’s another bottle in front of you. Go ahead and finish that up so we can go.”

Aiba whipped his head towards Sho, his lower lip quivering. “You are always like that!” he gritted, both hands moving to clutch the front of Sho’s shirt with a little too much force than what he'd probably intended.

“All three of you! You never want to talk about Leader! You don't even want to mention his name, as if, as if, you are trying to forget his existence! He was one of us! And being dead doesn’t mean we have to forget him!” Aiba managed to choke out before Sho pulled him into a tight embrace, murmuring his apologies against Aiba’s hair.

“I know you’re all hurting,” he said after a while, “Especially you, Nino, but remembering Leader doesn’t have to be like this. If I was the one who died, I would want you to smile when you remember me. I would want you to remember how I at least made you guys happy. I - not like this, never like this….”

Nino looked up in time to see Jun wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. Aiba’s words rung through his ears as he thought things over, remembering the few times those actually happened and wincing to himself as he did so. Aiba was right; since Ohno’s apparent and unexpected ‘death’, it became a silent agreement not to openly discuss the matter, probably because they didn’t know how Nino would react. Because since that night Nino broke down in front of them, he never once mentioned it again. It was probably his fault, he realized, because then when any of the three unconsciously mentioned Ohno’s name, Nino’s answering response was to walk away, shoulders stiff and his expression dark.

Never once he admit that, at times like this when Aiba was too drunk to even care if he was about to be murdered for being an emotional, talkative mess, was the only time Nino allowed himself to remember.

To remember the way Ohno’s hand fitted perfectly against his own; how the older man always knew when to open his arms and let Nino leaned in against him while the rest of them talked about anything and everything, their hands joined together until Nino dozed off against Ohno’s chest. He never allowed those memories when he’s alone, lying in their shared apartment’s bed because it was always hard for him to wake up the next morning, knowing that he was going to look for the familiar curve of Ohno’s body, the way he always did before he was gone.

He never mentioned how listening to Aiba during these times was the only time he allowed himself to feel Ohno’s presence again around him; doing that always hurt him a thousand times more but it was the only way he knew how to do just so he could remind himself that Ohno was real and that everything that happened between them was, too.

It somehow kept him from going insane but he didn’t have the strength to say it out loud; maybe, he was afraid that if he as much as start a conversation about the past, he might not be able to stop himself and he wouldn’t want that. He knew he wasn’t the only one who suffered the lost here, but somehow, his friends had allowed him to move on the way he wanted to. The three of them standing by and watching over him as he pulled himself back together.

“I m-miss him so much,” Nino whispered under his breath, swallowing hard and only vaguely wishing his voice didn't sound as shaky as he felt.

Jun reached his hand out and pulled it back hesitantly when Nino threw him a hard glance, biting his lips down and sighed. Jun looked absolutely shocked when Nino crawled beside him, fingers trembling as he clutched Jun’s shirt and buried his nose against the crook of Jun’s neck.

“So much.” Nino repeated, hot breath against Jun’s skin, choking at the emotions lingering at his every word. Jun stiffened for a moment before finally realizing that Nino was allowing this, opening his arms and dropping a light kiss against Nino’s temple.

“All of us do, Nino,” Jun said with a barely concealed tenderness, only reserved for their phenomenal leader and Nino broke down with a sob, his body shaking as he muffled his cries against Jun’s chest.

“I love him… I love him so much…”

That night, as Jun cradled him close, Nino promised himself one thing;

Let Ohno go so he could finally let go of the pain.