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nilielhTitle : [Fic] You are welcome to stay (In this silence)
Pairing : Ohno/Nino (past Okada/Nino)
Rating : R
Summary : For years, he thought he could live with just loving him from afar. But his friend’s death didn’t only turn their lives around, it was bound to change his life forever.
Word count : around 9000 words
Note : Stay safe, everyone!
It was almost dark by the time he reached the house, something he would have been grateful for if not for the fact that he’d been on edge all day, clearly with no means of it ending anytime soon.
Somehow, he knew exactly who to blame it to.
Ninomiya Kazunari had sounded the same when he heard his voice on the phone earlier, and Ohno would be lying if he said he wasn’t affected. He hadn’t expected the call, or the invitation, though both didn’t come as surprise either. Today marked the second anniversary of Okada’s death, and despite his plans not to show up this time around for that dinner held annually in Okada’s memory, Nino, obviously, had other ideas.
He’d ditched using his job as an excuse; Nino was obviously in contact with his most of his teammates for that excuse to work, since it was Nino himself who mentioned his upcoming week-long leave. He’d planned on dropping by for a quick chat, sure, but that was it. He never quite trusted himself to be around Nino for too long, especially after the last time he’d came over and he saw how vulnerable Nino still was, a year after Okada’s death.
He’d made his promise, sure, but it was difficult to keep it when he knew himself enough not to screw up. Okada obviously didn’t mean it like that, when he made him promise to look after Nino should something bad happened to him, and no matter how tempted he was to take on the offer when Okada died, there was no way he could do that to the man he’d spent years loving in silence.
He hadn’t seen Nino in almost a year, but that didn’t mean he’d gotten over his feelings for him either. Quite frankly, it was the opposite, since there wasn’t a day he didn’t think of Nino, wondering how he was doing. They do message each other from time to time, but that’s mostly one sided, because Ohno thought it was better that way.
For Nino, especially.
He’d rather watch Nino from afar, love him in silence the way he’d done so for so long, if only to keep him safe. Nino had been left alone, suddenly and unexpectedly, miserable and heartbroken after Okada’s death, and pursuing Nino knowing how equally dangerous his job was would be cruel, no matter how much he wanted to.
The trouble was that he didn’t count Nino to be the one to reach out when he’d decided to stay away. He did so for the same reason he had when he kept his distance after the first time they met, and for a completely different ones now that his best friend, and the man Nino’s in love with was dead.
You can’t bail out on me this time, Oh-chan, Nino had said on the phone this morning, when he’d been barely awake to deal with his confusion, and admittedly, his hard-on, while Nino talked his ears off so early.
I know you’re not planning on showing up to dinner, which, okay, I get why, and well, sure, suit yourself, but that doesn’t mean I’m letting you off the hook so easily. Ditch the dinner, I don’t mind. But come drink with me afterwards. We’ll catch up then.
Of course, he’d declined. He had to. God knew what would happen if he agreed. Getting drunk with Nino? Just the two of them? Talk about disaster waiting to happen. Instead, he proposed something else. Lunch the next day, in that restaurant the three of them used to go to before the accident. Nino didn’t agree but he didn’t say no, either, and just sighed as if saying Ohno was being unfair.
He probably was, sure, but that was just him trying his best to protect Nino. From the situation, from himself. That wasn’t that hard to understand, was it?
He was both dreading and anticipating this day even before he received the call earlier today, and it wasn’t to say that the mere thought of seeing the other man after so long was wrecking havoc to his senses despite the fact that he was trying his best to suppress it. He didn’t want to be mean, but what could he do besides that?
He sighed and absently unlocked his front door one-handedly, while balancing the six-pack he’d managed to buy earlier on his way home. He was used to drinking his frustration away, but tonight’s clearly harder than most nights. Hearing Nino’s voice earlier surely had that effect on him, and it was rather stupid of him to think that getting drunk to forget was the brightest decision he could came up, but he was sticking to it.
That, or deciding on taking Nino’s offer, call him back and told him he was on his way. But no. No, he couldn’t do that. Even though that was exactly what he wanted to.
He’d just finished stuffing the beers in to his fridge when his phone rang for the second time today, groaning quietly as he checked who was calling. Thankfully, it wasn’t Nino.
“Ohno.” He answered after the third ring.
“I’m guessing you’re sticking to your plan, then? You didn’t go?” Sho inquired, sounding amused.
“No.”
“Dude, you do know you’re being stupid, right? I mean, he’s clearly trying to tell you something, inviting you over for drinks after dinner, which you’re supposed to attend as well. Don’t be dumb and call him back.”
He grimaced, then realized Sho couldn’t actually see him so he tried to remedy it by grunting instead. “You know I can’t do that.” He said.
“Why not?”
“You know why,” he sighed, wondering if it was better to hang up and just deal with Sho’s nagging the next time they saw each other, but thought better of it. “Ninomiya-san doesn’t need another complication in his life on top of what he’d just gotten himself out from. He deserves someone else, someone better. Obviously, that’s not me.”
“You say that as if you know.”
“Course I do,” he retorted. At least that part, he knew better than anyone else. He’d watched over Nino for a long time to know Nino was never going to look at him the way he’d look at Okada, for the way he’d loved Okada even after his death.
Well, that wasn’t it, really. Personality wise, he and Okada were two very different individuals. If he remembered it correctly, Nino had never gotten used to his presence in his and Okada’s life, and that was also the reason why he’d decided to keep his distance. Though Nino tried to be polite, he hadn’t managed to hide the fact that Ohno’s presence bothered him. He always seemed skittish when Ohno came over to visit him and Okada, awkward, as if the very thought of Ohno around was frightening him as much as it was bothering him.
Ohno couldn’t really blame him.
“Honestly, dude, quit over-thinking things and just, I don’t know, talk to him? I mean, if it doesn’t actually work out, then at least you had a chance to get rid of that itch, problem solved, right? Still, you won’t know until you try. It’s all I’m saying.”
“It’s not just about sex, Sho-kun,” he murmured, half-hoping it was that simple. Only, it wasn’t.
“Maybe it’s the same for him,” Sho-kun countered, voice quiet, and his very unexpected countenance had Ohno smiling despite himself. “Maybe, you’re not the only one thinking it’s impossible. But you won’t ever know if that’s the case if you’re not going to talk to him, right?”
He chuckled, briefly ran out of words to say. It had been too easy to hope, especially during the first few months of Okada’s death. He’d been there for Nino, had tried his very best to fulfill his promise to look after him, but somehow, it just hit him. The reality that he couldn’t give Nino the time and attention he deserved, mostly because of his job. Plus the fact that it felt as if he was betraying his friend for thinking he could replace him so easily in Nino’s life.
So, he stayed away.
But clearly, he couldn’t do the same for so long.
“I – don’t want to hurt him,” he managed to say, hesitant in a way he’d really rather not.
“You never know, you might be hurting him now by doing this. Isn’t it better to just be brave and ask him, for once?”
He sighed. Be brave? Hah! His job required him to put his life on the line every goddamn time, so it goes without saying that he was that and more. He had to be, in order to stay alive. But the thought of talking to Nino face to face, to tell him he’d been in love with him for as long as he could remember, terrified him in ways he couldn’t explain.
But, honesty? Could he do it? If that was Nino needed, the only thing he could offer Nino, he knew he could do it. He guessed that would be what being brave meant, too.
“I – guess I should…do that,” he answered, only half-wondering if he could.
“Well, if he ended up punching you in the face afterward, the tequila’s on me the next time we see each other. Just saying.”
“Yeah, fuck you very much.”
“I know. Do your best, yeah? And call me if you need a quick visit to the dentist after you two talked. Or the orthopedic doctor. I heard Okada-san trained Ninomiya-san himself so he must be good at breaking people’s bones. Well, either way, just be careful. It’s not good for your reputation if your deceased partner’s ex-lover ended up breaking your nose for no apparent reason. Everyone would surely make fun of you at work.” Sho said, and hang up before he could even think of saying something to him in return.
He chuckled, shook his head. Trust Sho to make him feel better despite knowing how goddamn complicated things were spiraling into. He’d tried his best to avoid this, not think about it if he could, which he hadn’t really been successful with, all things considered. Still, Sho might think it was that easy; it wasn’t. His complicated emotions aside, he’d always been certain he wasn’t what Nino needed. After Okada, especially.
Nino needed someone to be there for him, everytime he needed that person. And that obviously wasn’t him. He couldn’t offer Nino that, the time and the devotion Nino deserved. Even if that was the exact same thing he wanted to give Nino, the world even, if he could.
God, what was he supposed to do?
He went back to the direction of the kitchen to get himself a drink, uncaring if the beer wasn’t as cold as he preferred it to be. He needed a drink while he think things through, while he decide on what he should tell Nino when they meet each other for lunch tomorrow.
He’d just managed to pull the fridge door open when he heard the sound of a car pulling over his front porch, pausing to give the can of beer a look before he remembered to take his eyes away from it just in time for him to catch the sound of someone knocking on the door. His feet and body moving on autopilot, he crossed the relatively close distance between the kitchen to the front door in record-breaking speed.
His instincts told him to be careful, but the painfully familiar sound of his visitor’s voice calling from outside the door had him kicking said instinct in the balls and shoving it aside as he quickly dove for the door to open it.
Ninomiya Kazunari stood there, smiling and looking ten thousand times prettier than the last time he saw him. His heart stuttered in his chest, and for a moment there, he wondered if the darn thing ended up beating its way up his throat feeling the way his throat closed up as he stared Nino over in awed silence.
“Good evening, Oh-chan,” Nino greeted, holding up his hand and revealing the same six-pack beer Ohno bought himself earlier. “I know you’re not expecting me, but I bought us drinks and some peanuts. Care to let me in so we could chill these in your fridge while I cook us dinner? I’m sure you haven’t had dinner yet, so am I, so, what do you think?”
“I – Nino?”
“Yes, the one and only,” Nino said, grinning like he was thoroughly enjoying the look of pure shock on Ohno’s face. “I know you’re wondering why I’m here when I’m supposed to be at dinner, sure, I’ll explain it to you. But how about you let me in first? I’m starving, and I’m hoping you have at least a couple of instant noodles there to feed me. Before we drink the rest of the night away, of course. So, can I come in?”
He didn’t have to be asked twice, barely resisting the urge to run towards the opposite direction when Nino smiled and started toeing his shoes off, right there in the front of Ohno’s porch and helping himself on the visitors’ slippers there, but not before handing the beers at Ohno.
Ohno mentally cursed. It was going to be one hell of a long night.
+
“How did you know I’d be here?” Nino heard Ohno asked, as he went through the motion of putting on the visitors’ slippers there, vaguely aware of Ohno behind him. He felt compelled to look back as he answered Ohno’s obviously confused question, but thought better of it.
He couldn’t, yet, especially with the way his heart was behaving in his chest as if it was trying it’s best to jump out of his ribcage and eventually kill him. To be fair, it wasn’t something he wasn’t accustomed with; being around Ohno always made him feel kind of nervous, for reasons he hadn’t meant to admit to himself (or anyone, for that matter) back then, at least until after Junichi’s death.
Well, it wasn’t as if he hadn’t known. It was hard not to notice that when even his own boyfriend did, and was so vocal about the fact that it ought to be annoying for a while until he kind of just gotten used to it. The realization hadn’t been as comical as it supposed to be, simply because Nino had been kind of upset of Junichi’s teasing, as if he didn’t care about his best friend crushing on his very own boyfriend.
And he guessed that that knowledge made him cautious around Ohno, and for a very good reason. Junichi’s kind of an asshole when he’s in the mood to tease, and that always happened after Ohno had dropped by for a visit.
Still, that wasn’t something he’d thought to entertain before. He and Junichi had been together for years, and they were happy. That was more than enough reason for him not to worry about his boyfriend’s best buddy and partner eyeing him as if he wanted to devour him when the guy thought he wasn’t looking.
But then Junichi died, and despite his unwillingness to allow it the power to change his life, his priorities, his plans and his feelings, it still did.
Somehow, he guessed that that, too, was an inescapable inevitability.
“Will it upset you if I tell you I called Sakurai-san earlier to check?” he said when he’d finally managed to swallow past the lump in his throat, and hoping he didn’t sound as shaky as he felt. He stood still, allowing Ohno the chance to walk past him for propriety’s sake, and when Ohno did, he realized he was smiling, enjoying the view of Ohno’s back facing him before following the older man towards the direction of the living room.
From the looks of it, Ohno didn’t seem too pleased. “I was just talking to him before you arrived. He didn’t mention anything.” Ohno said, before he quickly disappeared to the kitchen, obviously to deposit the beers Nino brought with him.
When Ohno came back, he was carrying two cans of beers and a box of what Nino suspected was chocolates.
Brows arched, he watched as Ohno placed them on the low table there, then he reached over to grab two cushions and placed them on the floor before he gestured Nino over. Nino walked over wordlessly and sat, watching Ohno as he mimicked Nino’s action, sitting opposite him.
Sliding one of the beer cans over, Ohno’s eyes surveyed him. Nino felt that all-too-familiar twisting in his stomach and the way it knotted its way up his chest and settled warmly there.
“You’re saying Sakurai told you I’d be here?” Ohno prompted, as he absently grabbed the other can and twisted it open. Nino made no move to do the same on the beer can he was offered and nodded instead.
“I told him not to tell you,” he said, shrugging his shoulders noncommittally. “Please don’t be mad at him. It was my fault, really. I told him I planned to surprise you anyway, since I’m sure you weren’t planning on showing up to dinner tonight. I guess I made a good point and convinced him to tell me where I could find you. Truthfully, I didn’t expect it would be here.”
Ohno looked kind of pale as he took a quick swig of his beer, some of the liquid drabbling past his mouth to his chin. He lifted his hand to wipe it off, hastily, and something about the way Ohno’s hand looked when he did the action made Nino’s gut churn, but not in a bad way.
Also, there was heat in those eyes that made Nino conscious in a way he normally didn’t, and the answering spread of liquid heat pooling around his middle was making him queasy.
“You forgot to mention you’re on leave?” he followed, before he could talk himself out of it.
That clearly surprised Ohno, though he obviously tried not to show it.
“I – didn’t think it’s that important,” Ohno said, mouth quirking. “Besides, I planned on meeting you tomorrow, for lunch, right? I thought we…could catch up then.”
“What’s wrong with doing that tonight instead?” he asked, without taking his eyes off of Ohno. Ohno squirmed on his seat and darted his gaze; Ohno looked uncomfortable, sitting there that a part Nino felt strangely triumphant, watching Ohno looking so awkward sitting there, as if he was considering bolting to the door the very first chance he got.
He eyed Ohno surreptitiously, feeling strangely calm despite the warmth settling across the vicinity of his heart. This, too, was nothing out of the ordinary. For some reason, despite the awkwardness between them when they got together before, Junichi included, he knew deep inside that Ohno was someone he could trust, someone who made him feel safe.
That hadn’t changed, even after Junichi’s death, and it certainly wasn’t something he would question now. He knew that much to be sure he wasn’t about to make the biggest mistake of his life for braving the consequences to be here, and that was that.
“Ah, but that’s – I mean –“ Ohno said, more like stuttered, before he paused for another drink.
“Well, that could be easily arranged, you see. I mean, if you want me to, I can leave.” He said, casually, watching Ohno’s expression changed drastically from one of uncertainty to confusion and fear.
“No! I – that’s not what I meant, Nino. I mean – I mean you don’t have to leave. I – God, I’m so sorry. I’m being an ass, I know, I’m really sorry. I just –“
“Tired?” he cut in, offering Ohno a smile before he leaned over on the low table to give Ohno a look. “You know you’re working too hard, Oh-chan, right? You deserve to take a break from time to time, you know?”
Ohno shrugged. “I hope that’s the only reason,” he said, meaningfully, and Nino realized he was grinning despite himself.
“You’re not saying it’s because of a person, yeah? Are you dating someone now, Oh-chan?” he asked, knowing for certain that Ohno was not. Sakurai-san was thankfully helpful about so many things, especially when it involved Ohno. And Nino was glad.
Ohno shook his head and Nino watched, in awe, as Ohno’s mouth tilted upwards into a would-be grin, the expression making him look boyish and a hundred times more charming. Nino felt so inclined to reach over and touch that smile, wondering how it would feel blossoming under his fingertips, but he held himself.
“Not really,” Ohno murmured, before he was once again grabbing his beer and downing the contents of it in one go. “But if one day it happened, I promise you’ll be the first to know.”
He chuckled. “I’ll take your word for it, then.”
“You bet,” Ohno winked at him, then eyed his still untouched beer. “Aren’t you going to drink that?”
“Um, maybe later. I did say I haven’t had dinner yet, right? I was kinda hoping you have something in your fridge that we could eat?”
Ohno’s smile turned somewhat shy, sitting upright just as he slid the box of chocolates over. “I’ll check if I still have instant ramen left in the cupboard, though I urge you not to expect much. I rarely go home these days, you know, so shopping for groceries is kind of a rarity for me, really. But let me check. Otherwise, we could probably order in, if you want. It might take more than an hour to reach here though.” Ohno said, before he stood, walking slowly towards the direction of his kitchen. Nino watched him carefully as he did so, wondering how it was possible for Ohno to look this good when Nino had known him for so long it was kind of ridiculous.
Then like an afterthought, Ohno pivoted and pointed at the box of chocolate sitting on the table.
“For now, just eat those chocolates,” Ohno said, smiling teasingly. “Matsumoto-san gave all the guys in our unit one box each when he came back from Dubai. Said it’s a famous brand.”
Nino took the box and held it carefully. “Patchi?” he read aloud, looking back up at Ohno.
Ohno nodded. “Yep. He said those are better-than-sex chocolates,” he was grinning, and for some reason, Nino wondered why he felt compelled to follow through. If Ohno was joking, then, too bad; Nino didn’t come here to laugh.
He made a quick work on the box and pulled it open, reached down inside and took whatever his fingers caught and popped it into his mouth without even checking it out. He held Ohno’s gaze as he chewed, brows raised at Ohno’s wistful expression.
“Well?” Ohno prompted as Nino chewed, the bittersweet taste of the chocolate lingering in his tongue.
“No,” he said, as he swallowed.
Ohno chuckled, feigning disappointment. “No? Really?”
Nino nodded. “Yeah, totally. Better than sex? This? Seriously, not even close.” He pointed out.
“That’s too bad,” Ohno said, like he meant it; Nino wondered if he really did. “Matsumoto-san sounded sure, though.”
“Whoever that Matsumoto-san guy is, he’s obviously hasn’t tried having sex yet,” he said, with a straight face. Ohno cracked up, and the sound of his laughter only served to fuel Nino’s desire to hear more, see more. “What? I’m serious, Oh-chan. No one in his sane mind would compare chocolates to sex. That’s just stupid, really.”
“Right, I believe you, Nino.”
“What, you sounded disappointed,” he quipped, and thus stopping Ohno from quickly disappearing to his kitchen. He stood, taking one more piece of chocolate from the box before crossing the short distance between him and Ohno. “I’m not lying. These chocolates are not better than sex. Here, try it.” He said, and without waiting permission from Ohno (and from his brain), he reached forward to feed Ohno the piece of chocolate in his hand, popping it into Ohno’s mouth.
He watched, throat dry as Ohno chewed, their eyes glued together. “Well?”
Ohno’s eyes were so, so dark it made Nino’s knees wobble. “Yeah, you’re right,” Ohno muttered, “It’s not better than sex.”
Nino didn’t realize he was reaching over until he did, when his fingertip touched the corner of Ohno’s lip where a faint trace of chocolate was left and he wiped it off, before bringing it to his lips. All the while, Ohno watched, throat bobbing with restraint as Nino shoved his finger to his mouth and licked, watching Ohno watch him. Ohno’s eyes darkened visibly.
Then, he pulled his finger out and licked around his lips, staring at Ohno pointedly. “Prove it.”
+
“Prove it.”
Ohno shook himself awake, vaguely wondering if he was actually dreaming.
Obviously, since something like this only happened in his dreams, or in his most vivid imaginations where Nino was near and he could just pull him in his arms while his mouth searched Nino’s own, it was kind of difficult to remind himself that this was actually real and it was happening.
A part of him wanted to do just that, consequences be damned, but the other, more sensible part of him stopped him just before he’d thrown caution to the wind and tugged Nino in. Hell, Okada should be so proud of him right now, at the way he was showing restraint in the face of something he’d wanted for so long when he normally wouldn’t.
“What did you just say?” he croaked and stepped back, and was glad that Nino hadn’t thought to follow though Ohno was afraid that might be what Nino was planning on doing next. So, he did what he wouldn’t in normal circumstances and turned around, half-hoping he would be able to hide the flush that had certainly showed up on his cheeks as well as the inconvenient dent his dick made in his pants at Nino’s very blatant request.
“Are you saying you didn’t hear me or you’re just trying to make me repeat myself?” Nino inquired, sounding astonishingly calm, unperturbed, whereas Ohno was sure he was seconds away from prematurely combusting. It didn’t even help that he’d been aroused the moment he opened the door and found Nino standing there, and hearing Nino say something that was clearly not innocent was messing with his head.
“And look at me when I’m talking to you,” Nino followed, harshly, that Ohno had no choice but to obey.
He inhaled sharply and pivoted, hand reaching up to run his fingers through his hair. “I’m sorry, I just –“
“Stop saying sorry,” Nino cut him off curtly, “You haven’t done anything wrong. And before you say anything, I know you heard what I said. And yes, it’s exactly what you think it is. And no, I’m not joking. I’m sure you could tell if I am.”
He cursed inwardly. “Jesus. You don’t know what you’re saying,” he muttered, shaking his head. Fuck, what the hell was happening?
“I’m not stupid. I know what I said, okay?” Nino griped, sounding offended. Ohno gaped, staring Nino over, uncertain of what to say, wondering if he’d somehow missed half of the conversation where Nino had mentioned about them fucking, or something similarly ridiculous as Ohno taking Nino to bed.
Jesus fucking Christ.
Though that certainly wasn’t far from the truth, judging with the way Nino’s expression steeled at Ohno’s answer. Was he expecting that? Maybe not. But Nino couldn’t put the blame on him entirely. No one in their sane mind would come forward with such blatant and what could be close to impossible request towards someone they’ve been terrified of, someone whom they’ve spent the entirety of their association avoiding to the best of their ability.
The irony was seriously making Ohno’s head hurt.
“Nino, please, you’re not – this isn’t you,” he mumbled, hoping he could be able to salvage the situation by pretending he wasn’t already considering it. Damn it all to hell.
“That’s what you like to believe, isn’t it?” Nino countered, mouth quirking, arms crossed over his chest in defiance. Ohno’s unruly chest tightened at the surprising display of confidence, grateful and equal-parts awed that Nino trusted him enough to show him this side of him Ohno hadn’t the opportunity to witness before.
“And it’s me now, Oh-chan,” Nino added, as if he hadn’t just made Ohno’s stomach twist in knots, and his other body part stiff and hard. “So you can just quit the façade and listen to what I’m telling you, okay? I’m not here to force myself on you, but I’m not planning on leaving without a fight either.” Nino said, then, like an afterthought, he added, “It has been such a long time for me, Oh-chan, you know?”
Fuck. What was he supposed to say to that? Clearly, Nino was here on purpose, and that obviously wasn’t to talk. To catch up with each other or whatever. Did he know what he was offering here? What Ohno was capable of? God, just the thought of putting his hands on that lovely skin, and then feeling him jerking afterward would be cruel. Nino had no idea what he was asking him. He’d been so in love with Okada, and throwing himself at Ohno like this, today of all days, was plain heartbreaking.
Still, with the way Nino was looking at him, now…God, he wasn’t sure anymore. He’d asked, yes, and if Nino mentioned Okada’s name, then that would be it.
“Why me?” he murmured, voice cracking embarrassingly with each syllable.
“Why not?” Nino countered, without hesitation. “Besides, I like you. And I’m fairly certain the feeling is mutual, so, I thought, why not give it a try? I don’t see any problem here, really. And maybe you haven’t noticed it but you’re sexy as hell. Looking at you right now makes me so hard it hurts.”
Well, fuck it, then.
He strode toward Nino in a rush, barely able to ignore the ache in his thighs that mirrored the one that settled around the general vicinity of his chest. He was breathing hard, harshly, when he reached Nino, holding his arms out just in time to catch Nino jumping towards him, arms finding purchase around his shoulders as his legs wrapped themselves around his waist.
Nino nuzzled against him, mouth damp and soft, humming against his skin and making him tremble with barely-restrained lust. He groaned and backed Nino to the nearest wall, one hand cushioning Nino’s back as Nino rolled his hips against him, the answering hardness poking Ohno on the chest was making his head spin.
Ohno lifted his head and kissed the air from Nino’s mouth.
Their tongues fight for dominance, and any and all struggle drained out of him in a rush. Holding Nino in place and securely against the wall, he inclined his head and dove for more, sucking on Nino’s tongue and allowing Nino the same courtesy just to hear him moan in delight right after. Nino’s hands then drifted around his neck before settling on his jaw to capture his face in Nino’s hands, kissing him hard and wet and passionate as if he never would again after this.
“God, you’re making me so hot,” Nino muttered into his mouth, shivering as if he couldn’t help it. Ohno chuckled and aimed another kiss to the side of Nino’s lips, planting two more over the beauty mark on Nino’s chin before stealing another kiss.
“Kazu,” he breathed, and the sound of Nino’s name spilling out of his lips apparently bore the same effect, making Nino shudder when he said it. He smiled and licked the shell of Nino’s ear before he pushed away from the door, making sure he had Nino securely in his arms before he backed away. “Let’s do this properly, shall we? I’ll take you to bed, okay?”
“God,” Nino keened, mouth catching his. “I thought you’d never ask.”
He giggled and said nothing as he pushed away from the wall, crossing the short distance towards the bedroom with Nino’s lips nuzzling his cheek.
+
Nino moaned when his back hit the mattress, legs dangling on the edge when Ohno laid him down on the soft surprise with aching tenderness, surprised and equal-parts impatient when despite his fingers clawing at Ohno’s shirt to tug him down, to make him join him on the bed so he could kiss Ohno some more, the other man decided to pull away instead. Nino groaned, jerking upward to follow Ohno’s retreating body, but Ohno simply held a hand out, setting it gently across Nino’s chest to make him stop.
“What are you doing?” Nino snapped, or at least tried to, because his voice sounded embarrassingly breathless even in his own ears.
“Trying to catch my breath,” Ohno murmured, but his eyes remained focused on Nino and Nino alone. Nino’s own tried to see the difference, gaze drifting from Ohno’s face to the evidence of Ohno’s arousal tenting his pants and grinned, both in triumph and in amusement.
“You’re being funny, Oh-chan,” he cooed, gesturing for Ohno to remove his hand. Ohno did, but he also kneeled away when Nino sat up properly to face Ohno. “Come on, I won’t bite.” He teased, helping Ohno decide by tugging his shirt off and throwing it away.
Ohno’s normally unfocused eyes turned heavy-lidded, as his gaze landed on the bare expanse of Nino’s chest and toned abdominal muscle. He knew how it must look right now, as Ohno’s eyes scrutinized it with barely-concealed curiosity, certain that the past few months he’d spent on the gym had paid off.
“Fuck, do you even know what you’re doing to me, Nino?” Ohno husked out, fingers balled into fists and obviously still trying to talk himself out of what Nino was openly offering. In other times, Nino would be offended, but not this time; he knew how much Ohno wanted him – it wasn’t so hard to see that even when he did try to avoid it, because Junichi was there.
But he wasn’t anymore; and Nino was done waiting.
He started on his pants while Ohno watched; making sure the action didn’t escape Ohno’s eyes. Those normally liquid brown eyes were darker now, shaded with something Nino was certain mirrored exactly what was on his own.
“Yes,” he whispered, his pants’ button coming undone in a matter of seconds. Then he started on the zipper, slowly, slowly, and watched Ohno’s adams apple bob, both in anticipation and arousal. The sight of him made Nino grin. “I’d rather you do this part yourself, but it’s obvious you’re still hesitating. So I guess I should just help you out, to hurry things along.” He said, and kneeled up, and made a good show of letting Ohno see the way he’d pushed his pants and boxers down his narrow hips, humming a little in discomfort when his cock pulled free from its confinements and out in the open.
He swore the sound that escaped the back of Ohno’s throat was all worth it.
“Jesus, Nino,” was what Ohno muttered before he dove forward, catching Nino around the hips and toppling him on the bed, his weight soon followed to settle over Nino while his mouth searched Nino’s lips.
+
He meant to take it slow, to make it last, but Nino writhing below him made it inexplicably hard to do just that. He’d undressed himself in record breaking speed, had made sure he’d secured everything he would be needing to get inside Nino as soon as he possibly could, and hoping he wouldn’t end up scaring Nino away afterward.
To be perfectly honest, he was terrified, but Nino giving him all those encouraging little moans certainly helped.
He started out slow, kissing Nino hard and deep, before he took his mouth elsewhere to further explore. Nino stayed pliant on the bed under the weight of his body, warm and welcoming, Nino’s own hands doing their own exploration on Ohno’s back and arms. His lips traveled from the corner of Nino’s lips to his jaw, making a quick beeline from there to the underside of Nino’s ear and licking that spot with purpose. Nino writhed under him, moaned in a mixture of delight and plea as Ohno tongued the sensitive shell repeatedly.
Then he moved further down to Nino’s throat, sucking that spot and leaving imprints on Nino’s skin. Nino felt like warm silk under his hands and lips, and Ohno wanted more.
He crawled further down, ignoring Nino’s grunts as he settled in between Nino’s legs, mouth a hairbreadth away from Nino’s hard-on, hands settling on both Nino’s knees and guiding them around his back. Nino obeyed wordlessly, folding them around his back and moaning when his breath came a little too close to his over-sensitized cock.
“Please, oh god please.” Nino moaned afterward it made Ohno chuckle despite himself.
“Don’t come yet, okay?” he whispered, knowing he was being a little cruel. But he needed this, he had to taste Nino thoroughly, and claim every square inch of him while he was allowed. Nino didn’t bother answering and Ohno didn’t expect him to. He leaned down, tongue ready to taste more, and shuddered in turn at Nino’s answering scream.
+
Nino never had it this good.
He was certain he was screaming, only vaguely worried he’d turned Ohno off by his reaction, but that obviously didn’t happen. Instead, it seemed like Nino’s screaming fit had only spurred Ohno on even more, his fingers alternating between gripping Nino’s legs and mounding Nino’s balls. His cock stirred, stiff to the point of pain, and he only had half a mind to remind himself to quit screaming lest he’d alert the neighbors.
“Oh God!” he couldn’t help it, he screamed again, this time shivering in time with Ohno’s tongue working alongside a finger Ohno had slipped inside, making him hyperaware of the movement and the explosion of sensation thereafter.
When Ohno pulled his mouth away, Nino was certain he was two seconds away from coming. Ohno’s finger, however, remained buried to the hilt.
He did his best to pull himself upward from the bed to squint at Ohno, his chest heaving hard.
“Please tell me you’re not done yet,” he said, half-hating the way his voice shook along with the rest of him.
Ohno grinned and with such precision only he could muster, he’d inserted another finger along with the one that was still there without breaking their gazes.
“Oh, Nino,” he breathed, working two fingers in and out of Nino now. “I am far from done. You just lie there and let it happen. I promise I’ll take care of you.” he said, ducking his head to lick a long line from the base of Nino’s dick to the tip.
Nino’s head thumped to the pillow, hips arching from the bed and moaning low in his throat.
+
True to his word, Ohno didn’t relent, and made sure he’d drove Nino crazy enough he was begging for Ohno’s cock before Ohno was properly settle above him, dick coated with enough lube to make Nino giggle when it accidentally bumped against his own.
“Did you empty that tube or am I just imagining it? It feels like your dick is ninety five percent lube now.” He teased, hands finding purchase on Ohno’s arms as Ohno loomed above him, mouth dangerously close to his.
“What’s the remaining five percent?” Ohno asked, gamely, one hand guiding his cock into Nino’s waiting heat while the other he kept on Nino’s hip. Nino wondered vaguely how he was able to support himself, with both hands occupied. Belatedly, he realized Ohno had asked him a question.
He rolled his eyes. “Isn’t it obvious already? Your pre-cum – ah!” his words ended up in a shriek, because Ohno chose that moment to jerk his hips, driving home with a cry and making Nino tremble in discomfort and awe.
God, Ohno was huge.
“You okay?” Ohno asked, adjusting his position and thus making Nino follow the movement to ease his discomfort. It was obvious that Ohno wasn’t completely in yet, but Nino already felt so full, full, full.
“I’ll get there,” he said, tugging Ohno down for a kiss. Ohno gave in wholeheartedly, kissing him back and drawing out sounds of pleas from his lips. A slow push, a pause, Ohno breathing hard against his cheek and Nino wondered how he got so lucky. Ohno was so careful with him, even though it was evident in the way he was breathing harshly into Nino’s skin that he was so aroused he could barely think past it.
“Nino, Nino,” Ohno moaned, almost delirious, into the soft skin of his nape, when he lifted his legs and worked them around Ohno’s waist to pull him deeper. Nino felt every hard length of him throbbing inside him, every delicious inch slipping deeper, and knew he wanted more.
He and Ohno both, really.
“Move, move now, Oh-chan,” he keened, right into Ohno’s ear.
He didn’t even need to tell Ohno twice.
+
Ohno let go of his fears and started driving into Nino with all the strength he could muster, hips pumping in an unbroken rhythm he was briefly worried he’d break Nino in two. But Nino was wailing hard and loud, egging him on and meeting each of his thrusts halfway, hanging onto him for dear life as their mouths meet for a kiss every now and then. He could feel the heat gathering around his thighs when he pushed hard enough to bury Nino further into the mattress, hitting the ends of Nino’s body and trembling with unfulfilled arousal when Nino screamed yet again.
Then, he turned his attention on Nino’s nipple, dragging his tongue across the stiff bud and drawing another noise of pleasure out of Nino’s lips, before following it with a jerk of his hips.
“Ah, I’m -!” Nino screamed yet again, and Ohno knew he got the right angle. So he kept at it, growling low and driving into Nino with single-minded purpose. He could feel his cock hardening the more Nino screamed, and by now he decided he’d rather watch Nino’s face and see the way pleasure rocked Nino from within.
It didn’t even take three thrusts before Nino tumbled to the edge with a full body shudder, his voice too hoarse to even hear through the thundering sounds of Ohno’s own blood pounding through his ears.
Growling, he continued the punishing pace, fucking Nino through his orgasm and hoping to catch the tail of Nino’s pleasure with his.
“Stay with me, stay with me!” he groaned, pushing hard, harder, teeth digging almost painfully into his bottom lip watching Nino’s eyes popped open, offering him a grin.
“Yes,” Nino said, holding on, his expression dazed and sated. Ohno swore he’d never seen anyone look so beautiful with his hair in disarray, face damp with sweat, the way Nino was in that moment. “I’m here, Oh-chan. Come now. Come for me.”
He groaned, hand cupping Nino’s cheek at the last moment as he let himself go.
+
He smelled the food before he was even properly out of the bedroom, half-awake and equal-parts sore. His stomach growled in protest, his limbs cracking in fifteen different places as he rounded the corner to the kitchen, fervently hoping he’d find Ohno there.
A part of him was certain he would, because despite many things Ohno might be, being cruel surely wasn’t one of them.
Still, it wasn’t at all embarrassing to admit that he was, in fact, worried. And maybe a tiny bit scared to find Ohno gone. He did leave when Nino was asleep, after all, but Nino guessed he had his reasons.
He let his feet take him towards the direction of that lovely smell, his stomach growling still. He’d ignored the soreness he felt on his lower back in favor of walking faster, and reminded himself to be careful. He had no intention of scaring Ohno away, although he must admit that Ohno’s absence earlier when Nino was woken up both by his bladder and his hungry stomach might mean something along the lines of Nino spooking him for real.
He sighed in relief the moment he spotted Ohno there, his back to Nino, hand busy on something on the stove.
It was only a quarter after eleven, he realized, spying the time on Ohno’s gigantic clock hanging off the wall on Ohno’s living room on the way here. Still plenty of time to hash things out and maybe talk Ohno into going back to bed with him later.
But first – “Oh-chan, is that our dinner?” he said, loud enough to startle Ohno, pivoting to give Nino a look. Nino grinned, charmed yet again at how damn good looking Ohno was just standing there, his throat going dry at the way Ohno was staring him over now as if he couldn’t help it.
Ohno cleared his throat and glanced away. “Yeah,” he said, turning round to check on his neglected cooking. “I hope you’re okay with anything I come up with. It’s just egg chahan, though. I only have rice and egg available here. I thought of ordering in but I wasn’t sure what you wanted to eat, so,” Ohno paused here, and Nino waited for him to continue but he never did.
He sighed. “I’m okay with anything, really,” he said. Then, like an afterthought, he murmured, “I didn’t think you’d cook though.” He didn’t need to say he was impressed at the thoughtfulness, but, that wasn’t something new, was it?
Ohno was always perceptive of Nino’s needs, even back then. But he’d only fully able to appreciate it after Junichi’s death, whenever Ohno would find the time to drop by for a visit. Everytime, Ohno would bring something over, like Nino’s favorite brand of coffee (which could only be bought from that one store in Yokohama), or any food that Nino fancied, like those expensive-tasting melonpan, or his favorite store-bought hamburg steak bento.
“Well, I’m not letting you starve either. I know you asked for ramen, but I think rice would be better.” Ohno said.
Nino chuckled and walked the rest of the way inside, eyeing Ohno with his heart thumping hard in his chest. This was the part where he knew he should be careful, hell, he’d told himself he shouldn’t do anything to scare Ohno away, but his body (and his heart, to be honest) ached for attention, Ohno’s especially, and it was difficult to keep himself from wanting it.
He stopped when he was merely a couple of feet away from Ohno, his back still turned to him, and very carefully crossed the short distance and leaned his body against Ohno’s back. Ohno stiffened against him, like an automatic reflex, but Nino didn’t let it deter him. Bravely, he reached out and placed his hands on either side of Ohno’s hips, all the while waiting for Ohno to shake him away with baited breath. When Ohno didn’t, Nino boldly wrapped his arms around Ohno from behind, before hooking his chin over Ohno’s right shoulder.
“Smells good,” he said, peeking at the food from Ohno’s shoulder, grateful and equal-parts glad that Ohno hadn’t pushed him away. “I didn’t know you could cook?”
Ohno shrugged the shoulder Nino wasn’t occupying. “Well, that depends,” Ohno mused, as if the very question was amusing him to no end. Nino liked the idea of making Ohno smile more often from now on. “Since this is the only dish that I can really cook properly. I mean, apart from boiling eggs and water for the ramen, that is.”
Nino’s laughter bubbled out of him without him realizing it, arms tightening around Ohno and squeezing him. God, he loved the feel of his arms around Ohno’s body, the way they melded into each other so perfectly as if they were two pieces carved out from one.
He wondered if Ohno felt the same way, too.
“Oh-chan, can I ask you something?” he asked, bravely, after a brief moment of silence. Ohno’s hand stilled, before Nino watched him reach down to turn the stove off. Then, he turned after carefully extracting Nino’s arms from his body, offering Nino his full attention.
Ohno’s eyes were gentle and so, so kind. “What is it?”
“I – Did I scare you?” he asked, hesitant in a way he hadn’t meant to. But he was terrified too, of the consequences and losing this chance to be with Ohno, because he was selfish, impatient.
Ohno shook his head in answer, almost too fast and too quickly Nino wondered if he was just imagining it. But Ohno’s fingers soon lifted to touch his face, cupping his cheek and staring into his eyes with something akin to fierce tenderness brimming behind them.
Nino’s heart ached at the sight of it.
“God, no,” Ohno said, smoothing a thumb across Nino’s cheek ever so gently that it was difficult to miss the misery under that tone, layered with adoration and something else. “Why would you even think that?”
He shook his head, and for a moment, he was too emotional to speak. Ohno’s fingers drifted to his nape and pulled him closer.
“I’m supposed to be the one asking you that,” Ohno murmured, as if he wasn’t entirely sure how to phrase his words that Nino would understand. The words didn’t come, and Nino spent the next moment watching the cacophony of emotions passing through Ohno’s eyes with interest, hope blooming warmly in his chest.
“Why?” he asked after a long beat, nudging Ohno out of his daze. Ohno shook his head, still unable to come up with an answer. “You didn’t hurt me, Oh-chan, if that’s what you’re worried about.” Nino pointed out.
“It’s not that,” Ohno said, looking down. Nino frowned, both in confusion and in frustration.
“What then?”
Ohno pulled away then, sidestepping Nino as if he needed to be far away from Nino as possible to think, so he could come up with a proper answer. Nino let him.
“Is it because of Junichi?” he bravely asked, only because he wanted this to be over, sooner rather than later. He wanted Ohno’s affection focused on him and him alone, and if that’s the only thing hindering him from getting it, well, tough luck. Nino wasn’t going down without a fucking fight.
Ohno visibly winced. Bulls eye. “I – I can’t seem to stop worrying over it, you see,” Ohno whispered. Nino believed him, really. “The fact is, I saw you two together and I know how much you love him. I mean, are you sure this –“ Ohno gestured between them, to himself, as if the very thought that Nino wanted him was hilarious as much as it was ridiculous. Nino rolled his eyes to the heaven and waited until Ohno started speaking again.
“Is what you really want?”
“To be with you? Yes. I thought I’ve already made myself clear on that part earlier,” he said, taking one step towards Ohno and ignoring the panic on Ohno’s face when he was close enough to grab Ohno’s hand, folding it in between his own.
Ohno was clearly still in doubt. “But –“ he started to protest, but Nino beat him to it.
“Let me ask you one thing then, Oh-chan, before you start enumerating the reasons why I can’t be with you,” he said, squeezing Ohno’s hand. Ohno snapped his mouth shut. Nino treated that as an okay to continue speaking. “Don’t you like me?” he asked.
Ohno shook his head, looking slightly incredulous. “Why are you even asking me that?” he said, laughing mirthlessly. “God, the way I did you earlier, I don’t think there’s even anything in what I did to you earlier that said I didn’t like you. I adore you, Nino. I like every damn inch of you, you have no idea how much –“
“I hear a ‘but’ coming,” he cut in, wary of Ohno’s answer, because he knew they’d only be going in circles if he let him.
Ohno glanced away once again. “But I’m afraid I won’t ever get to be like…like Okada. I mean, I can never be like him, I can never give you the time and the attention you deserve, obviously because of my job and –“
“I’m not asking you to be, Oh-chan,” he murmured, stepping forward to press a lingering kiss to the corner of Ohno’s lips. “And I’m not here to compare you to him, you hear me? What Junichi and I had was special, one of a kind, but it was over. Done. Because he died, you remember? But I’m still here, I’m still alive, and I’ve moved on. I’ve moved on from that pain and I’m here in front you, right now, and I’m asking you to take this chance with me, to be with me, because I love you. Because after Junichi, there hadn’t been anyone who I’d rather be with than you, and I mean it. Every word. With all of my heart, Oh-chan.”
“A-Are you sure?” Ohno asked, as if he couldn’t help but ask. Nino smiled because he couldn’t help it either, chuckling at the way a huge grin threatened to split Ohno’s face in two.
“Yes,” he said. “I won’t be here saying this embarrassing things to your face if I’m not sure, obviously.” He added, offering Ohno a wink.
Ohno’s eyes were pleasantly wet when they finally stared into Nino’s own, surprising Nino yet again when Ohno surged forward to sweep him on his feet and into Ohno’s arms, mouth searching his for a searing kiss.
Somehow, it was answer all on its own, and it was perfect.
Nino would never have it any other way.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-05-16 12:06 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-05-16 12:16 pm (UTC)Thank youuuuuu :D