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nilielhTitle : [Fic] I Have Kept You In My Heart (Part 10)
Pairing : Ohno/Jun, Sho/Nino, Ohno/Nino, Eventual Jun/?
Rating : R
Summary : Before Jun, there was only Nino. The man Ohno loved with everything he had, loved with such ferocity that any other emotion would pale in comparison. He was Ohno's everything, the love of his life, the person Ohno dreamed of sharing his whole life with someday. Until Nino's untimely death, six years ago.
Disclaimer : fiction, yo!
Warning : Angst in large doses. Memory loss. Minor character death. One-sided love.
"Leaving so soon?"
Nino started at the sound of that familiar voice, his attention veering from his mother and sister packing up his stuff at the opposite side of the room, to the gorgeous doctor standing by the door. Sakurai-Sensei smiled and Nino returned the gesture easily with a smile of his own, finding it so easy to be cheerful around the doctor's presence despite the circumstances of himself being there.
It had only been less then a week since his unexpected 'return' to the land of the living, as what he jokingly referred it to, a few days of constant confusion over things he knew he should remember but couldn't. It was frustrating, alright, but he tried not to dwell on it much, not when he was certain that what he was feeling right now couldn't ever be compared to what his family, his friends, and those people who cared genuinely for him, have suffered during those years he was lying unconscious on this very bed.
"Well, I was told I’m good to go," he shrugged, watched as Sakurai-Sensei strolled his way inside with a bunch of papers in his hand. "Probably by the same doctor who couldn't wait to send me away. Heard he even made sure my release papers are ready days before I'm supposed to leave." he said, feigning hurt.
"What a horrible person." Sakurai-Sensei agreed, indulging as ever. No wonder he was Nino’s favorite.
"I know, right?" he agreed readily, both of them cracking up the second their gazes meet. Somehow, their eyes remained locked for a moment longer before Nino realized they've stopped laughing altogether and Sakurai-Sensei was giving him this particular look that was making his stomach flutter uneasily the longer it went on.
"Well, it's not like you won't be coming back here to bother Sakurai-Sensei again." his mother commented blithely, and Nino was grateful for that little distraction because he was able to avert his gaze without worrying about offending Sakurai-Sensei in the process.
"He couldn't, even if he wanted to," Sakurai-Sensei said, just as he slid a bunch of papers down the table next to Nino’s bed. "His monthly checkup aside, I'll also be supervising his rehabilitation, so, there’s no way we won’t be seeing each other again."
“Thank you, Sensei.” his mother said, sounding grateful.
Nino raised his head just in time to catch Sakurai-Sensei saying, "So, as much as I want to send you away for good - which I don't, just to be clear - I can't. Your full recovery is our main concern here, Ninomiya-san, so you'll be coming back here whether you like it or not."
Nino shrugged. "Guess it can't be helped, huh?"
Sakurai-Sensei reached over and tapped him lightly on the forehead, and if the gesture wasn't enough to make Nino blush, the way Sakurai-Sensei gazed at him, did.
"Nope," Sakurai-Sensei said, his voice barely higher than a whisper. "I'm sorry, Ninomiya-san."
Nino chuckled but found it difficult to hold Sakurai-Sensei’s gaze as he averted his eyes. “You don’t sound like you are, though.” Nino mused, startled when a finger brushed across his cheek. But it was done so quickly that Nino thought he was just imagining it.
Sakurai-Sensei must have said something, but Nino’s attention was quickly taken away by the sound of the door opening once again, smiling despite himself at the sight of his best friend’s grinning face peeking from behind it.
“You guys ready?” Aiba said, eyes darting from Nino’s mother and sister packing Nino’s stuff to Nino shifting on the bed, promptly breaking into a grin. “Hikaru-san’s brought the van, so we’ll load Nino-chan’s stuff there, and you guys can all go with me in the car.”
“How about the wheelchair?” his mother inquired.
“It’s already there,” Aiba confirmed. “I loaded that one first.” he added, throwing Nino a wink. Nino chuckled, chest swelling with affection.
Aiba was kind of the best, and Nino loved him with all of his heart.
“Eh, but how do you think I’ll be able to waltz out of here without that wheelchair?” he asked, when he remembered his useless legs. Aiba stared at him for a long moment, before his mouth twitch in a way that had Nino chuckling in answer.
“I could…. carry you?” Aiba offered, helpfully, feigning innocence.
Nino heaved a long suffering sigh at the same time Sakurai-Sensei and literally everyone in the room burst into laughter, shaking his head and laughing too despite himself.
++
Watching Ninomiya-san leave was - weird.
Well, he’d expected the inevitable sadness - six years is undoubtedly long enough for anyone to develop an attachment to someone else, especially if one had to spend each day with the other person, despite the fact that the said person was unconscious - but he had trusted himself to be professional enough not to show it.
But it was difficult, and Sho knew he’d made things awkward between him and Ninomiya-san because of his stupidity.
He sighed, his thoughts somehow drifting from Ninomiya-san to the person he spent almost his entire evening with yesterday - and groaned. Somehow, he didn’t need that degree in psychology to know that Matsumoto-san was having a relationship problem, and that it was where all those yet admitted trouble was coming from.
Sho almost, almost regretted his spontaneous invitation, but quickly dismissed the thought the moment he saw Jun-san walked in. His heart sank at the sight of him, going straight to meet Jun-san by the door to help him before he even realized he was doing it.
If Jun-san’s bandaged head wasn’t enough to worry Sho out of his wits, then the bruises marring the other man’s skin certainly did.
However, he held off with the questions and opted with just making sure Jun-san was fine, just as Jun-san had insisted. Sho had no right to pry - despite the nagging feeling that he probably should - he was Jun-san’s doctor, after all - but he didn’t, he couldn’t, because he was afraid he might be misunderstood. He’d kept his worries to himself despite the urge gnawing at him the entire time he sat there listening to Jun-san talking.
But despite the circumstances, it was undeniable that he enjoyed their dinner. His worries and Jun-san’s obvious reservations aside, Sho found that there was so much about Jun-san besides that arresting face of his.
Compared to Ninomiya-san, who’s the complete opposite of Jun-san (but just as pretty, if he was going to be completely honest about it), it was difficult to stay uninterested.
God, it was not like him to act like this around his patients - like a teenager with a crush, it seemed like - because that was exactly how he was behaving. It was bad enough that he had this unquestionable fondness towards Ninomiya-san, but adding Jun-san into the picture certainly didn’t help.
He released the breath he didn’t realize he was holding, knowing that sooner rather than later, he had to pull himself together and act like the doctor that he obviously was. And to be able to accomplish that, he had to put his personal feelings aside, the way he should have done so from the beginning.
It wasn’t going to be easy, but that’s just how it was.
Sho honestly wasn’t looking forward to it.
++
Ohno would be lying if he said he wasn’t dying to see Nino.
It’d been just a couple of days since he’d been informed of the situation, of Nino being alive when he knew for certain that wasn’t the case, and Ohno honestly wondered where he was getting his patience from, as he opted to work on doing stupidly mundane things instead of acting on his desire to see Nino the first chance he got.
He wanted to, of course, of course, but propriety said he shouldn’t, so despite the need gnawing at him from the inside, he did his best and held back. Because despite what everyone have expected of him, he couldn’t just drop everything and ran back to where Nino was.
There were a handful of things to consider - people and feelings, most of all - and the last thing Ohno wanted was to end up hurting those who mattered so much to him. Not Jun, and most definitely not Nino, though that was inevitable at this point.
He’d already ruined what little respect Jun had for him, and even though that wasn’t intentional, he guessed it didn’t matter anymore. Jun had obviously chosen the other path, the one which he thought would be a better one to keep him from ending up at the losing end. Ohno had wanted to explain himself, but after the first time he tried to, he guessed it would be better to just leave Jun be for now.
His phone vibrated on the coffee table, and he sat up properly to retrieve it, eyes darting from his phone to the closed bedroom door. It had remained that way since Jun went out around three hours ago to fix himself some protein drink of his, before he went back inside the room to seclude himself once again.
Thinking the message was from Jun, he unlocked his phone and checked. The message wasn’t from Jun.
It was from Aiba.
Nino’s been discharged. We’re taking him home. Will text you the exact location once I have it.
Ohno’s heart did a quarter-flip and he swore he never felt so conflicted until that moment, when he wanted to just tell himself to go fuck it, and leave.
He couldn’t, though, groaning to himself as he stood, eyes locked on the general vicinity of the bedroom.
He and Jun have to talk.
++
“I hope it doesn’t feel like I’m smothering you or something, but who am I kidding, right?” Aiba said, pulling Nino into his arms again. They’re at Nino’s sister’s home, and after more than an hour making sure they’ve got everything Nino needed, Aiba knew he had to go.
He’d made Becky wait for so long already, after all.
He’d also made it a point to inform Ohno about Nino’s discharge from the hospital, despite knowing that Kazuko-san might not agree to it. He even went as far as telling Ohno where Nino would be staying, knowing he’d appreciate the same if the situation was reversed.
Now this would be all up to Ohno. If he wanted to see Nino or not, that’s all on him. Aiba had no plans on asking him anymore. They were way past that, after all.
“It might feel like it, I know, but just - just bear with it for a while, okay? I mean, we just got you back. Everything’s just - surreal, I guess.” he added, pulling away just the slightest bit so he could look Nino over.
Nino chuckled and shrugged, as if saying he totally mind the overwhelming attention focused on him, but had to endure it anyway.
“Seriously, though it’s flattering, the exaggerated attention creeps me out,” Nino said, wrinkling his nose. “Don’t tell my Mother that.”
Aiba grinned but said nothing, taking Nino’s hands in his and squeezing them. A few days in Nino’s company obviously still wasn’t enough to ease his worries, his doubts, that this was all just a dream and he would soon wake up to find out none of it was real. It was hard enough dealing with so many things at once since he found out Nino was alive, but it at least distracted him away from having to deal with his own fears for the time being.
But here, now, they all came back to him like plague, rushing back like riptide that it terrified him to leave, knowing Nino might not be properly protected. It’s probably uncalled for, silly even, but it was hard to stay calm when they have no idea what they were dealing with.
The circumstances surrounding Nino’s accident six years ago was what’s making him queasy, and Aiba didn’t like that feeling, at all. It was difficult not to feel that way, after hearing Kazuko-san laying out the reason over her nagging suspicion surrounding Nino’s ‘death’ and he guessed that was just to be expected.
Sure, nothing conclusive came out from the investigation, but that could mean so many things, and Aiba was afraid of the possibilities. The possibilities pointing to the fact that someone out there have wanted his best friend dead.
“I won’t,” he agreed, knowing for certain he was guilty as well. “But if it’s any consolation, we didn’t mean to creep you out. It’s just that it’s hard to explain it. I mean, you can never know it feels like, having you here like this, when we never thought we ever could. We didn’t mean to smother you, I swear, but just -”
Nino chuckled at that, like he couldn’t not, and mock-punched him on the chin, before Nino’s own hands reached down to take Aiba’s hands and raised them to Nino’s face.
“You all did, but it’s okay,” Nino said, and Aiba noted the soft look on Nino’s eyes when he said that. “It’s fine. I’ll live. I guess I can’t really complain much given the circumstances. You guys do make me feel like you’re all glad I’m here after all, and I guess that’s reason enough for me to bear being everyone’s superstar not knowing what I did to deserve it.”
We thought you died, Nino, Aiba wanted to say, but decided against it at the last minute. Nino knew that much, at least, but hearing so every single time might not bode well to the person who couldn’t even remember it.
Instead, he pulled Nino to him and dropped another kiss to the top of Nino’s head, thankful, grateful yet again for having him here.
“You might not believe this but it’s not just because we think you’re a superstar, even though you’re really are, how can you not?, but because we kinda love you a lot,” he said, as he gathered Nino in. “And that we’re all glad you’re back. More than glad, to be honest. Really.”
Nino said nothing, but the way he nodded his agreement against Aiba’s chest told him he completely understood, and that, in itself, was more than enough.
++
He was in the middle of stuffing clothes into his luggage when he heard the door opened.
He paused, but didn’t bother turning to know that he had Ohno for company now. For a while, neither of them talked, but Jun figured that if Ohno had voluntarily opened that door, he had a very good reason for doing so, thus, he was prepared to talk.
Another minute passed, then two, and Jun decided to resume what he was doing instead of waiting for Ohno to open his mouth because he had obviously gone into Standby Mode. It shouldn’t surprise him anymore, knowing that between the two of them, he was the one who mostly did the talking.
But after everything that had happened, Jun settled for the opposite.
He’d said what he wanted, not everything but at least those that mattered, and as far as Jun was concerned, that was better than not being able to, at all. There were so much he’d left unsaid, and that was mostly because he still couldn’t bring himself to look at Ohno now and expect himself to stay calm.
He was zipping up his bag when he heard the sound of Ohno clearing his throat. Jun ignored him.
“Jun,” called Ohno. Jun closed his eyes, heaved a sigh and decided he could rude some other time.
“What?” he snapped, turning around and plopping himself on the bed, pushing his bag aside. He’s met with an unfamiliar look on Ohno’s face, something like misery and confusion mingling, and the sight made him feel strangely elated.
Ohno frowned and his mouth twitched in obvious irritation. “What the hell are you doing?”
Jun smirked, hoping he didn’t seem as affected as he felt. “What’s it look like?” he asked in return, watching the way Ohno bit his lower lip hard.
Somehow, the sight was ten times satisfying. “Stop answering me with a question, damn it,” Ohno grit out, pissed. Jun laughed, feigning indifference. “Why are you putting your clothes in that luggage? Are you leaving?”
This time, Jun really cracked up. “No, I just feel like putting them there, got a problem with that?” he said, shaking his head. To Ohno’s answering frown, Jun waved his hand, amused despite himself.
“What, you still expect me to stay here after what happened?” he said, feeling his head throb. He’d completely forgotten about his medication, since he was rather preoccupied earlier, but he guessed that couldn’t really be helped. “Seriously, this just proves how you don’t know me at all.”
“Is this still about Nino?” Ohno asked, as if he didn’t know. Jun threw him a disbelieving look.
“Well, it certainly isn’t about your supposed dead ex-boyfriend’s mother, what do you think this is about?” he countered, annoyed, feeling his phone vibrating in his pocket. That only meant one thing; Shun was outside and was already waiting for him.
It took him a while to convince Shun he was alright, and that he really just needed a place to stay for a few days before he decided what to do. It wasn’t like he could just leave everything behind and expect things to be fixed just like that because obviously, that’s not going to happen. He couldn’t just throw everything away, knowing that there were still aspects in his life that were still connected to Ohno’s no matter how badly he wanted to cut their ties.
Of course, doing so was not going to be easy. Jun knew that much, at least.
“Christ, Jun, how many times do I have to tell you I have no idea Nino’s -”
Jun grabbed the handle of his luggage and jerked an angry finger at Ohno, cutting Ohno off entirely.
“Stop talking,” he snapped, barely able to keep himself from throwing his luggage over. He was shaking all over, momentarily forgetting himself as he and Ohno surveyed each other over.
He breathed deeply, hoping it would be enough to calm down. It wasn’t, but it was a close thing.
“Jun, please -”
He looked down, away, locking his gaze somewhere on the wall to Ohno’s left, anywhere that wasn’t Ohno’s face, and bit his lips hard enough for it to bleed.
“I need to…I need to leave. Just. I have to be away from you,” he muttered, feeling like he was speaking through a mouthful of cotton. “Clear my head or something. Just. I can’t deal with this right now, Satoshi. I can’t deal with you right now, and I don’t even want to try, okay? So just,” he paused, raising his other free hand to rub at his chest. It was aching in a completely different way, a different kind of pain compared to the throb in his head and the painful tingle around the vicinity of his right hip.
“I have to go,” he added, with finality. “Shun is outside already. I - I’ll be staying with him for now.” he said, not bothering glancing back and started walking.
“So, that’s it?” Ohno grit out, prompting Jun to stop. “You just say you want to leave and you will? Am I not even allowed to ask you to hear me out? To stop this nonsense so we can talk this out? Jun, for fuck’s sake, I don’t -”
“It doesn’t matter,” he said, firmly, holding his head up high and refusing to let Ohno see how this was killing him. “I knew this was a mistake, but I chose to stay with you just the same. I know you’re trying to do the right thing, staying here when we both know where you’d rather be.” he breathed.
“For God’s sake, Jun. I don’t know what else to say to you.” Ohno said, sounding tired and exasperated.
At this point, Jun just couldn’t find it in him to care.
He would have tried to understand Ohno if the pain wasn’t so numbing, but as it was, the truth about that Ninomiya person was the only thing he could think of. He felt so betrayed, he felt so undeserving of all these crap he’d gone through just to stay with Ohno, even though he knew perfectly well he did so voluntarily.
This was different, and the pain, sadly, was what’s making him think irrationally. He was never an irrational person, but with Ohno, he might be worse. Jun honestly couldn’t recognize himself sometimes, especially after the incident, and he knew that at some point, it would have to stop.
And he knew he would have stayed if it wasn’t for the fact that it was his pride telling him to go. To stop this madness once and for all. He’d made himself believe he’d paved the way to Ohno’s heart after all those years he spent trying to win Ohno’s heart over, but clearly, he was wrong.
He couldn’t stay here, with Ohno, not after everything. Not after fighting for Ohno’s affection for almost six years, against a supposed dead person, and still losing.
Especially now that that supposed dead person turned out to be alive.
Everything was different now. Knowing that that person he spent hating in silence, even in the man’s death, was actually alive, had changed everything.
“Nothing you say will ever make this better, anyway, so it’s best that you don’t,” he said, fingers tightening around their grip on his luggage’s handle. There was no reason to doubt his decisions now, not when he’d known it all along they’d end up to where they were now someday.
That day, sadly, was today.
He breathed through his nose and squared his shoulders, willing the words out despite the difficulty.
“I’m leaving.” he said, not exactly waiting for an answer but was devastated just the same when Ohno said nothing.
He was out of the door and walking towards his best friend’s waiting car when he realized he was crying.
++
He had just stepped inside the apartment and was closing the door behind him when he realized his phone was vibrating insistently in his pocket. He turned, toed his shoes off and shoved his hand in his jean’s pocket to retrieve his phone when his gaze caught Becky, her slim frame pressed against the genkan’s entrance.
He smiled her way and mouthed, Hi, before slapping his phone to his ear. He caught her looking at him, one of her perfect brows raised in silent inquiry, and her mouth lilted just the slightest bit, not smiling just yet.
Aiba missed her like crazy.
“Hello, Oh-chan?” he said, frowning, immediately recognizing Ohno’s distressed voice from the other end. “Yes, did you get my message? Yeah, that’s right. Well, no. I didn’t think that’s necessary; you’re his friend, too, as far as I’m concerned.” he said, rooting himself on the spot, answering Ohno’s questions on the other line almost absently, as he surveyed Becky over.
God, she looked as perfect as ever, and his heart swelled with untamed affection at just the sight of her. He couldn’t wait to have her in his arms, but he wanted to do it right, hopefully with no further interruptions as he satiate his hunger for her, after the few days he didn’t see her.
“Well, I’m not going to force you to do anything you don’t want, and the reason I informed you of the situation is because I would have expected the same, if that were me. I wouldn’t want to be kept out of the loop when people could have easily informed me, so I did. And you’re my friend, okay? I didn’t know telling you should be a problem. If you want to go and see him, that’s your decision. Yes, Oh-chan. No, that’s not a problem. You’re welcome. Yeah, of course. I have to go. Bye.” He hang up, eyes raking Becky over.
“Hello,” he said, stepping forward and closing the remaining distance between them in three huge strides, basking on her warmth when she easily caught up with him and let herself be swept into his arms without complaint. He was burying his nose into her hair before he could stop himself, sweeping her up in his arms as if she weighed nothing as he breathed her in.
“Hi yourself.” Becky chuckled, and Aiba basked on that familiar sound, groping blindly around her so he could hold her steady. Becky wound her arms around his neck as if on autopilot, and Aiba inhaled greedily as he guided them both inside, stopping when they’re near the couch before he sat himself down, taking Becky with him.
“God, I missed you,” he groaned, pressing kisses over kisses on any part of Becky’s face he could put his lips on, enjoying the way she giggled almost uncontrollably as she pushed him off weakly. “Nope, not gonna happen. I’m going to kiss every inch of you until I’m satisfied, sweetheart, no, wait, what are you doing, I said I won’t -”
Becky kissed him by way of stopping him from talking. Aiba gave in easily, matching her with equal enthusiasm.
“Woah, okay,” Becky exclaimed as she pulled away. Aiba didn’t let her, as he leaned forward again for another kiss until Becky slapped a hand over his mouth not-so-gently to keep him from advancing further.
“What?” he muttered through Becky’s palm.
“Aren’t you forgetting something, Aiba Masaki?” she demanded, pouting. Aiba’s heart did that stupid dance inside his ribcage again at the sight of her.
“What? Presents?” he teased, knowing exactly what she meant. He’d swallowed the urge to grin, but it was hard when he was so happy just being here, with her. “What are you, five?”
Becky pinched his nose in retaliation, pushing herself up and off Aiba’s lap for good measure. Aiba tugged her back down before she even got as far as putting her feet on the ground.
“Keep talking, Masaki, or I swear to god -”
“Babe, Nino’s alive,” he said, effectively cutting her off, before worming his fingers around her slim wrist and tugging her closer. She looked momentarily scared, mouth parted open as if she wanted to say something but no words came out.
He held her palm to his lips and kissed her knuckles softly.
“W-Who’s alive?”
Aiba knew she wasn’t going to let him forget this, as he curled his arms around her and buried his face into her neck as he shook, the impact of the last few days catching up on him so fast he was left vulnerable, laid bare and trembling in her arms.
“My best friend, Nino, sweetheart,” he repeated, trembling, vaguely feeling Becky’s arms around him. “He’s alive. I just saw him. I was with him during those past few days. He wasn’t dead, as we have all made to believe. My best friend is alive, Becky. He’s alive, he’s, oh God -”
“Oh, Masaki.”
++
“...And if this means goodbye, hmmm ~” he sang softly to himself, strumming the guitar at the same time. It surprised him to find that he still remembered some of the notes he learned from high school, and equally grateful to find that not everything was lost in the accident.
He put the guitar down with a smile and looked up, and startled to find himself starting into a pair of warmest brown eyes he’d ever seen in his life.
“Hmm, hi?” he found himself uttering, despite the unfamiliar prick in his chest when the man blinked in return and lowered his head just the slightest bit. Afterwards, those eyes were back into staring Nino over, and Nino couldn’t help the explosion of heat on his face at the obvious longing behind the man’s eyes.
But that wasn’t just it. If Nino was going to be completely honest about it, there were something more behind that stare that made Nino feel admittedly uneasy. Apart from the obvious recognition, there was something else, something that looked like raw hunger, possession, and, to Nino’s surprise, pain.
The man’s eyes were unusually bright that Nino couldn’t help but look down and away to avoid it. He smiled despite the unusual ache throbbing away in his chest, confusion and embarrassment mingling. He only looked up when the ache was bearable, smiling through it as he met the other man’s eyes again.
“H-Hello, Nino.” the man greeted, his voice was soft and his smile even more so. Nino inclined his head in answer.
“Um, do I know you? I’m so sorry, that’s a stupid question, we obviously know each other,” he mumbled, shaking his head. Why did it feel like he was rambling, though he couldn’t remember ever losing his tongue when talking to someone.
“You’d have to forgive me, because I really don’t remember you. I mean, I’m sure that if you’re here, we must be close? And you must be one of those who attended my funeral six years ago?”
“It’s okay, and yes, to answer both your questions.” the man said, his soft smile still in place.
Nino nodded. “Um, okay. I’m sure you’re all kind of surprised. I mean, who wouldn’t, right? You all thought you buried me, but six years later, here I am. Wow. So...who are you again? If you don’t mind telling me your name. I just. It might help me remember.”
The man looked torn for a moment, and Nino saw him took a step forward only to stop himself mid-step. He also looked so ready to bolt, but Nino couldn’t shake the feeling that the man was barely keeping it together, if the painful look on his face was of any indication.
For the life of him, Nino wondered if he was the reason for it.
The smile the man let out then was heartbreaking as it was confusing, and Nino wondered what exactly he was missing when the man kept his gaze on him, lips trembling as he told Nino his name.
“Ohno,” the man said, and for a moment there, Nino realized he couldn’t breath. “my name is Ohno Satoshi.”
Pairing : Ohno/Jun, Sho/Nino, Ohno/Nino, Eventual Jun/?
Rating : R
Summary : Before Jun, there was only Nino. The man Ohno loved with everything he had, loved with such ferocity that any other emotion would pale in comparison. He was Ohno's everything, the love of his life, the person Ohno dreamed of sharing his whole life with someday. Until Nino's untimely death, six years ago.
Disclaimer : fiction, yo!
Warning : Angst in large doses. Memory loss. Minor character death. One-sided love.
"Leaving so soon?"
Nino started at the sound of that familiar voice, his attention veering from his mother and sister packing up his stuff at the opposite side of the room, to the gorgeous doctor standing by the door. Sakurai-Sensei smiled and Nino returned the gesture easily with a smile of his own, finding it so easy to be cheerful around the doctor's presence despite the circumstances of himself being there.
It had only been less then a week since his unexpected 'return' to the land of the living, as what he jokingly referred it to, a few days of constant confusion over things he knew he should remember but couldn't. It was frustrating, alright, but he tried not to dwell on it much, not when he was certain that what he was feeling right now couldn't ever be compared to what his family, his friends, and those people who cared genuinely for him, have suffered during those years he was lying unconscious on this very bed.
"Well, I was told I’m good to go," he shrugged, watched as Sakurai-Sensei strolled his way inside with a bunch of papers in his hand. "Probably by the same doctor who couldn't wait to send me away. Heard he even made sure my release papers are ready days before I'm supposed to leave." he said, feigning hurt.
"What a horrible person." Sakurai-Sensei agreed, indulging as ever. No wonder he was Nino’s favorite.
"I know, right?" he agreed readily, both of them cracking up the second their gazes meet. Somehow, their eyes remained locked for a moment longer before Nino realized they've stopped laughing altogether and Sakurai-Sensei was giving him this particular look that was making his stomach flutter uneasily the longer it went on.
"Well, it's not like you won't be coming back here to bother Sakurai-Sensei again." his mother commented blithely, and Nino was grateful for that little distraction because he was able to avert his gaze without worrying about offending Sakurai-Sensei in the process.
"He couldn't, even if he wanted to," Sakurai-Sensei said, just as he slid a bunch of papers down the table next to Nino’s bed. "His monthly checkup aside, I'll also be supervising his rehabilitation, so, there’s no way we won’t be seeing each other again."
“Thank you, Sensei.” his mother said, sounding grateful.
Nino raised his head just in time to catch Sakurai-Sensei saying, "So, as much as I want to send you away for good - which I don't, just to be clear - I can't. Your full recovery is our main concern here, Ninomiya-san, so you'll be coming back here whether you like it or not."
Nino shrugged. "Guess it can't be helped, huh?"
Sakurai-Sensei reached over and tapped him lightly on the forehead, and if the gesture wasn't enough to make Nino blush, the way Sakurai-Sensei gazed at him, did.
"Nope," Sakurai-Sensei said, his voice barely higher than a whisper. "I'm sorry, Ninomiya-san."
Nino chuckled but found it difficult to hold Sakurai-Sensei’s gaze as he averted his eyes. “You don’t sound like you are, though.” Nino mused, startled when a finger brushed across his cheek. But it was done so quickly that Nino thought he was just imagining it.
Sakurai-Sensei must have said something, but Nino’s attention was quickly taken away by the sound of the door opening once again, smiling despite himself at the sight of his best friend’s grinning face peeking from behind it.
“You guys ready?” Aiba said, eyes darting from Nino’s mother and sister packing Nino’s stuff to Nino shifting on the bed, promptly breaking into a grin. “Hikaru-san’s brought the van, so we’ll load Nino-chan’s stuff there, and you guys can all go with me in the car.”
“How about the wheelchair?” his mother inquired.
“It’s already there,” Aiba confirmed. “I loaded that one first.” he added, throwing Nino a wink. Nino chuckled, chest swelling with affection.
Aiba was kind of the best, and Nino loved him with all of his heart.
“Eh, but how do you think I’ll be able to waltz out of here without that wheelchair?” he asked, when he remembered his useless legs. Aiba stared at him for a long moment, before his mouth twitch in a way that had Nino chuckling in answer.
“I could…. carry you?” Aiba offered, helpfully, feigning innocence.
Nino heaved a long suffering sigh at the same time Sakurai-Sensei and literally everyone in the room burst into laughter, shaking his head and laughing too despite himself.
++
Watching Ninomiya-san leave was - weird.
Well, he’d expected the inevitable sadness - six years is undoubtedly long enough for anyone to develop an attachment to someone else, especially if one had to spend each day with the other person, despite the fact that the said person was unconscious - but he had trusted himself to be professional enough not to show it.
But it was difficult, and Sho knew he’d made things awkward between him and Ninomiya-san because of his stupidity.
He sighed, his thoughts somehow drifting from Ninomiya-san to the person he spent almost his entire evening with yesterday - and groaned. Somehow, he didn’t need that degree in psychology to know that Matsumoto-san was having a relationship problem, and that it was where all those yet admitted trouble was coming from.
Sho almost, almost regretted his spontaneous invitation, but quickly dismissed the thought the moment he saw Jun-san walked in. His heart sank at the sight of him, going straight to meet Jun-san by the door to help him before he even realized he was doing it.
If Jun-san’s bandaged head wasn’t enough to worry Sho out of his wits, then the bruises marring the other man’s skin certainly did.
However, he held off with the questions and opted with just making sure Jun-san was fine, just as Jun-san had insisted. Sho had no right to pry - despite the nagging feeling that he probably should - he was Jun-san’s doctor, after all - but he didn’t, he couldn’t, because he was afraid he might be misunderstood. He’d kept his worries to himself despite the urge gnawing at him the entire time he sat there listening to Jun-san talking.
But despite the circumstances, it was undeniable that he enjoyed their dinner. His worries and Jun-san’s obvious reservations aside, Sho found that there was so much about Jun-san besides that arresting face of his.
Compared to Ninomiya-san, who’s the complete opposite of Jun-san (but just as pretty, if he was going to be completely honest about it), it was difficult to stay uninterested.
God, it was not like him to act like this around his patients - like a teenager with a crush, it seemed like - because that was exactly how he was behaving. It was bad enough that he had this unquestionable fondness towards Ninomiya-san, but adding Jun-san into the picture certainly didn’t help.
He released the breath he didn’t realize he was holding, knowing that sooner rather than later, he had to pull himself together and act like the doctor that he obviously was. And to be able to accomplish that, he had to put his personal feelings aside, the way he should have done so from the beginning.
It wasn’t going to be easy, but that’s just how it was.
Sho honestly wasn’t looking forward to it.
++
Ohno would be lying if he said he wasn’t dying to see Nino.
It’d been just a couple of days since he’d been informed of the situation, of Nino being alive when he knew for certain that wasn’t the case, and Ohno honestly wondered where he was getting his patience from, as he opted to work on doing stupidly mundane things instead of acting on his desire to see Nino the first chance he got.
He wanted to, of course, of course, but propriety said he shouldn’t, so despite the need gnawing at him from the inside, he did his best and held back. Because despite what everyone have expected of him, he couldn’t just drop everything and ran back to where Nino was.
There were a handful of things to consider - people and feelings, most of all - and the last thing Ohno wanted was to end up hurting those who mattered so much to him. Not Jun, and most definitely not Nino, though that was inevitable at this point.
He’d already ruined what little respect Jun had for him, and even though that wasn’t intentional, he guessed it didn’t matter anymore. Jun had obviously chosen the other path, the one which he thought would be a better one to keep him from ending up at the losing end. Ohno had wanted to explain himself, but after the first time he tried to, he guessed it would be better to just leave Jun be for now.
His phone vibrated on the coffee table, and he sat up properly to retrieve it, eyes darting from his phone to the closed bedroom door. It had remained that way since Jun went out around three hours ago to fix himself some protein drink of his, before he went back inside the room to seclude himself once again.
Thinking the message was from Jun, he unlocked his phone and checked. The message wasn’t from Jun.
It was from Aiba.
Nino’s been discharged. We’re taking him home. Will text you the exact location once I have it.
Ohno’s heart did a quarter-flip and he swore he never felt so conflicted until that moment, when he wanted to just tell himself to go fuck it, and leave.
He couldn’t, though, groaning to himself as he stood, eyes locked on the general vicinity of the bedroom.
He and Jun have to talk.
++
“I hope it doesn’t feel like I’m smothering you or something, but who am I kidding, right?” Aiba said, pulling Nino into his arms again. They’re at Nino’s sister’s home, and after more than an hour making sure they’ve got everything Nino needed, Aiba knew he had to go.
He’d made Becky wait for so long already, after all.
He’d also made it a point to inform Ohno about Nino’s discharge from the hospital, despite knowing that Kazuko-san might not agree to it. He even went as far as telling Ohno where Nino would be staying, knowing he’d appreciate the same if the situation was reversed.
Now this would be all up to Ohno. If he wanted to see Nino or not, that’s all on him. Aiba had no plans on asking him anymore. They were way past that, after all.
“It might feel like it, I know, but just - just bear with it for a while, okay? I mean, we just got you back. Everything’s just - surreal, I guess.” he added, pulling away just the slightest bit so he could look Nino over.
Nino chuckled and shrugged, as if saying he totally mind the overwhelming attention focused on him, but had to endure it anyway.
“Seriously, though it’s flattering, the exaggerated attention creeps me out,” Nino said, wrinkling his nose. “Don’t tell my Mother that.”
Aiba grinned but said nothing, taking Nino’s hands in his and squeezing them. A few days in Nino’s company obviously still wasn’t enough to ease his worries, his doubts, that this was all just a dream and he would soon wake up to find out none of it was real. It was hard enough dealing with so many things at once since he found out Nino was alive, but it at least distracted him away from having to deal with his own fears for the time being.
But here, now, they all came back to him like plague, rushing back like riptide that it terrified him to leave, knowing Nino might not be properly protected. It’s probably uncalled for, silly even, but it was hard to stay calm when they have no idea what they were dealing with.
The circumstances surrounding Nino’s accident six years ago was what’s making him queasy, and Aiba didn’t like that feeling, at all. It was difficult not to feel that way, after hearing Kazuko-san laying out the reason over her nagging suspicion surrounding Nino’s ‘death’ and he guessed that was just to be expected.
Sure, nothing conclusive came out from the investigation, but that could mean so many things, and Aiba was afraid of the possibilities. The possibilities pointing to the fact that someone out there have wanted his best friend dead.
“I won’t,” he agreed, knowing for certain he was guilty as well. “But if it’s any consolation, we didn’t mean to creep you out. It’s just that it’s hard to explain it. I mean, you can never know it feels like, having you here like this, when we never thought we ever could. We didn’t mean to smother you, I swear, but just -”
Nino chuckled at that, like he couldn’t not, and mock-punched him on the chin, before Nino’s own hands reached down to take Aiba’s hands and raised them to Nino’s face.
“You all did, but it’s okay,” Nino said, and Aiba noted the soft look on Nino’s eyes when he said that. “It’s fine. I’ll live. I guess I can’t really complain much given the circumstances. You guys do make me feel like you’re all glad I’m here after all, and I guess that’s reason enough for me to bear being everyone’s superstar not knowing what I did to deserve it.”
We thought you died, Nino, Aiba wanted to say, but decided against it at the last minute. Nino knew that much, at least, but hearing so every single time might not bode well to the person who couldn’t even remember it.
Instead, he pulled Nino to him and dropped another kiss to the top of Nino’s head, thankful, grateful yet again for having him here.
“You might not believe this but it’s not just because we think you’re a superstar, even though you’re really are, how can you not?, but because we kinda love you a lot,” he said, as he gathered Nino in. “And that we’re all glad you’re back. More than glad, to be honest. Really.”
Nino said nothing, but the way he nodded his agreement against Aiba’s chest told him he completely understood, and that, in itself, was more than enough.
++
He was in the middle of stuffing clothes into his luggage when he heard the door opened.
He paused, but didn’t bother turning to know that he had Ohno for company now. For a while, neither of them talked, but Jun figured that if Ohno had voluntarily opened that door, he had a very good reason for doing so, thus, he was prepared to talk.
Another minute passed, then two, and Jun decided to resume what he was doing instead of waiting for Ohno to open his mouth because he had obviously gone into Standby Mode. It shouldn’t surprise him anymore, knowing that between the two of them, he was the one who mostly did the talking.
But after everything that had happened, Jun settled for the opposite.
He’d said what he wanted, not everything but at least those that mattered, and as far as Jun was concerned, that was better than not being able to, at all. There were so much he’d left unsaid, and that was mostly because he still couldn’t bring himself to look at Ohno now and expect himself to stay calm.
He was zipping up his bag when he heard the sound of Ohno clearing his throat. Jun ignored him.
“Jun,” called Ohno. Jun closed his eyes, heaved a sigh and decided he could rude some other time.
“What?” he snapped, turning around and plopping himself on the bed, pushing his bag aside. He’s met with an unfamiliar look on Ohno’s face, something like misery and confusion mingling, and the sight made him feel strangely elated.
Ohno frowned and his mouth twitched in obvious irritation. “What the hell are you doing?”
Jun smirked, hoping he didn’t seem as affected as he felt. “What’s it look like?” he asked in return, watching the way Ohno bit his lower lip hard.
Somehow, the sight was ten times satisfying. “Stop answering me with a question, damn it,” Ohno grit out, pissed. Jun laughed, feigning indifference. “Why are you putting your clothes in that luggage? Are you leaving?”
This time, Jun really cracked up. “No, I just feel like putting them there, got a problem with that?” he said, shaking his head. To Ohno’s answering frown, Jun waved his hand, amused despite himself.
“What, you still expect me to stay here after what happened?” he said, feeling his head throb. He’d completely forgotten about his medication, since he was rather preoccupied earlier, but he guessed that couldn’t really be helped. “Seriously, this just proves how you don’t know me at all.”
“Is this still about Nino?” Ohno asked, as if he didn’t know. Jun threw him a disbelieving look.
“Well, it certainly isn’t about your supposed dead ex-boyfriend’s mother, what do you think this is about?” he countered, annoyed, feeling his phone vibrating in his pocket. That only meant one thing; Shun was outside and was already waiting for him.
It took him a while to convince Shun he was alright, and that he really just needed a place to stay for a few days before he decided what to do. It wasn’t like he could just leave everything behind and expect things to be fixed just like that because obviously, that’s not going to happen. He couldn’t just throw everything away, knowing that there were still aspects in his life that were still connected to Ohno’s no matter how badly he wanted to cut their ties.
Of course, doing so was not going to be easy. Jun knew that much, at least.
“Christ, Jun, how many times do I have to tell you I have no idea Nino’s -”
Jun grabbed the handle of his luggage and jerked an angry finger at Ohno, cutting Ohno off entirely.
“Stop talking,” he snapped, barely able to keep himself from throwing his luggage over. He was shaking all over, momentarily forgetting himself as he and Ohno surveyed each other over.
He breathed deeply, hoping it would be enough to calm down. It wasn’t, but it was a close thing.
“Jun, please -”
He looked down, away, locking his gaze somewhere on the wall to Ohno’s left, anywhere that wasn’t Ohno’s face, and bit his lips hard enough for it to bleed.
“I need to…I need to leave. Just. I have to be away from you,” he muttered, feeling like he was speaking through a mouthful of cotton. “Clear my head or something. Just. I can’t deal with this right now, Satoshi. I can’t deal with you right now, and I don’t even want to try, okay? So just,” he paused, raising his other free hand to rub at his chest. It was aching in a completely different way, a different kind of pain compared to the throb in his head and the painful tingle around the vicinity of his right hip.
“I have to go,” he added, with finality. “Shun is outside already. I - I’ll be staying with him for now.” he said, not bothering glancing back and started walking.
“So, that’s it?” Ohno grit out, prompting Jun to stop. “You just say you want to leave and you will? Am I not even allowed to ask you to hear me out? To stop this nonsense so we can talk this out? Jun, for fuck’s sake, I don’t -”
“It doesn’t matter,” he said, firmly, holding his head up high and refusing to let Ohno see how this was killing him. “I knew this was a mistake, but I chose to stay with you just the same. I know you’re trying to do the right thing, staying here when we both know where you’d rather be.” he breathed.
“For God’s sake, Jun. I don’t know what else to say to you.” Ohno said, sounding tired and exasperated.
At this point, Jun just couldn’t find it in him to care.
He would have tried to understand Ohno if the pain wasn’t so numbing, but as it was, the truth about that Ninomiya person was the only thing he could think of. He felt so betrayed, he felt so undeserving of all these crap he’d gone through just to stay with Ohno, even though he knew perfectly well he did so voluntarily.
This was different, and the pain, sadly, was what’s making him think irrationally. He was never an irrational person, but with Ohno, he might be worse. Jun honestly couldn’t recognize himself sometimes, especially after the incident, and he knew that at some point, it would have to stop.
And he knew he would have stayed if it wasn’t for the fact that it was his pride telling him to go. To stop this madness once and for all. He’d made himself believe he’d paved the way to Ohno’s heart after all those years he spent trying to win Ohno’s heart over, but clearly, he was wrong.
He couldn’t stay here, with Ohno, not after everything. Not after fighting for Ohno’s affection for almost six years, against a supposed dead person, and still losing.
Especially now that that supposed dead person turned out to be alive.
Everything was different now. Knowing that that person he spent hating in silence, even in the man’s death, was actually alive, had changed everything.
“Nothing you say will ever make this better, anyway, so it’s best that you don’t,” he said, fingers tightening around their grip on his luggage’s handle. There was no reason to doubt his decisions now, not when he’d known it all along they’d end up to where they were now someday.
That day, sadly, was today.
He breathed through his nose and squared his shoulders, willing the words out despite the difficulty.
“I’m leaving.” he said, not exactly waiting for an answer but was devastated just the same when Ohno said nothing.
He was out of the door and walking towards his best friend’s waiting car when he realized he was crying.
++
He had just stepped inside the apartment and was closing the door behind him when he realized his phone was vibrating insistently in his pocket. He turned, toed his shoes off and shoved his hand in his jean’s pocket to retrieve his phone when his gaze caught Becky, her slim frame pressed against the genkan’s entrance.
He smiled her way and mouthed, Hi, before slapping his phone to his ear. He caught her looking at him, one of her perfect brows raised in silent inquiry, and her mouth lilted just the slightest bit, not smiling just yet.
Aiba missed her like crazy.
“Hello, Oh-chan?” he said, frowning, immediately recognizing Ohno’s distressed voice from the other end. “Yes, did you get my message? Yeah, that’s right. Well, no. I didn’t think that’s necessary; you’re his friend, too, as far as I’m concerned.” he said, rooting himself on the spot, answering Ohno’s questions on the other line almost absently, as he surveyed Becky over.
God, she looked as perfect as ever, and his heart swelled with untamed affection at just the sight of her. He couldn’t wait to have her in his arms, but he wanted to do it right, hopefully with no further interruptions as he satiate his hunger for her, after the few days he didn’t see her.
“Well, I’m not going to force you to do anything you don’t want, and the reason I informed you of the situation is because I would have expected the same, if that were me. I wouldn’t want to be kept out of the loop when people could have easily informed me, so I did. And you’re my friend, okay? I didn’t know telling you should be a problem. If you want to go and see him, that’s your decision. Yes, Oh-chan. No, that’s not a problem. You’re welcome. Yeah, of course. I have to go. Bye.” He hang up, eyes raking Becky over.
“Hello,” he said, stepping forward and closing the remaining distance between them in three huge strides, basking on her warmth when she easily caught up with him and let herself be swept into his arms without complaint. He was burying his nose into her hair before he could stop himself, sweeping her up in his arms as if she weighed nothing as he breathed her in.
“Hi yourself.” Becky chuckled, and Aiba basked on that familiar sound, groping blindly around her so he could hold her steady. Becky wound her arms around his neck as if on autopilot, and Aiba inhaled greedily as he guided them both inside, stopping when they’re near the couch before he sat himself down, taking Becky with him.
“God, I missed you,” he groaned, pressing kisses over kisses on any part of Becky’s face he could put his lips on, enjoying the way she giggled almost uncontrollably as she pushed him off weakly. “Nope, not gonna happen. I’m going to kiss every inch of you until I’m satisfied, sweetheart, no, wait, what are you doing, I said I won’t -”
Becky kissed him by way of stopping him from talking. Aiba gave in easily, matching her with equal enthusiasm.
“Woah, okay,” Becky exclaimed as she pulled away. Aiba didn’t let her, as he leaned forward again for another kiss until Becky slapped a hand over his mouth not-so-gently to keep him from advancing further.
“What?” he muttered through Becky’s palm.
“Aren’t you forgetting something, Aiba Masaki?” she demanded, pouting. Aiba’s heart did that stupid dance inside his ribcage again at the sight of her.
“What? Presents?” he teased, knowing exactly what she meant. He’d swallowed the urge to grin, but it was hard when he was so happy just being here, with her. “What are you, five?”
Becky pinched his nose in retaliation, pushing herself up and off Aiba’s lap for good measure. Aiba tugged her back down before she even got as far as putting her feet on the ground.
“Keep talking, Masaki, or I swear to god -”
“Babe, Nino’s alive,” he said, effectively cutting her off, before worming his fingers around her slim wrist and tugging her closer. She looked momentarily scared, mouth parted open as if she wanted to say something but no words came out.
He held her palm to his lips and kissed her knuckles softly.
“W-Who’s alive?”
Aiba knew she wasn’t going to let him forget this, as he curled his arms around her and buried his face into her neck as he shook, the impact of the last few days catching up on him so fast he was left vulnerable, laid bare and trembling in her arms.
“My best friend, Nino, sweetheart,” he repeated, trembling, vaguely feeling Becky’s arms around him. “He’s alive. I just saw him. I was with him during those past few days. He wasn’t dead, as we have all made to believe. My best friend is alive, Becky. He’s alive, he’s, oh God -”
“Oh, Masaki.”
++
“...And if this means goodbye, hmmm ~” he sang softly to himself, strumming the guitar at the same time. It surprised him to find that he still remembered some of the notes he learned from high school, and equally grateful to find that not everything was lost in the accident.
He put the guitar down with a smile and looked up, and startled to find himself starting into a pair of warmest brown eyes he’d ever seen in his life.
“Hmm, hi?” he found himself uttering, despite the unfamiliar prick in his chest when the man blinked in return and lowered his head just the slightest bit. Afterwards, those eyes were back into staring Nino over, and Nino couldn’t help the explosion of heat on his face at the obvious longing behind the man’s eyes.
But that wasn’t just it. If Nino was going to be completely honest about it, there were something more behind that stare that made Nino feel admittedly uneasy. Apart from the obvious recognition, there was something else, something that looked like raw hunger, possession, and, to Nino’s surprise, pain.
The man’s eyes were unusually bright that Nino couldn’t help but look down and away to avoid it. He smiled despite the unusual ache throbbing away in his chest, confusion and embarrassment mingling. He only looked up when the ache was bearable, smiling through it as he met the other man’s eyes again.
“H-Hello, Nino.” the man greeted, his voice was soft and his smile even more so. Nino inclined his head in answer.
“Um, do I know you? I’m so sorry, that’s a stupid question, we obviously know each other,” he mumbled, shaking his head. Why did it feel like he was rambling, though he couldn’t remember ever losing his tongue when talking to someone.
“You’d have to forgive me, because I really don’t remember you. I mean, I’m sure that if you’re here, we must be close? And you must be one of those who attended my funeral six years ago?”
“It’s okay, and yes, to answer both your questions.” the man said, his soft smile still in place.
Nino nodded. “Um, okay. I’m sure you’re all kind of surprised. I mean, who wouldn’t, right? You all thought you buried me, but six years later, here I am. Wow. So...who are you again? If you don’t mind telling me your name. I just. It might help me remember.”
The man looked torn for a moment, and Nino saw him took a step forward only to stop himself mid-step. He also looked so ready to bolt, but Nino couldn’t shake the feeling that the man was barely keeping it together, if the painful look on his face was of any indication.
For the life of him, Nino wondered if he was the reason for it.
The smile the man let out then was heartbreaking as it was confusing, and Nino wondered what exactly he was missing when the man kept his gaze on him, lips trembling as he told Nino his name.
“Ohno,” the man said, and for a moment there, Nino realized he couldn’t breath. “my name is Ohno Satoshi.”
